Sixes and Sevens…

Today has been a weird day. I don’t know why. My daughter and I had an peculiar conversation this morning. Funny peculiar, not weird. Then the chemist got my prescription wrong again. I am missing the tablet that stops me getting breathless and tight in the chest.

I hear my neighbours as though they’re in my home. Not always, but too much though I still love living here, just slightly less.

Mainly, I am not coping well with the deep sadness I feel when I wake every morning. I am still in love with a man. He is my moon, stars, and sun. He once told me he could never be angry with me and that he could never be upset with me. His last words to me were very hurtful and untrue. How fickle the heart is. My friends tell me I deserve someone better, but I can’t even imagine better.

I’ve been changing some things around my home. I have new lights in my dining room and sitting room. It looks really good. I’ve put a piece of stained glass on my sitting room window.

I have dreadfully expensive taste, but fortunately find almost everything at a discount. I can make a little money go a long way. I’m so sad that almost everything in my garden has died due to not being able to keep up with watering. Next year, my garden will be filled with drought resistant plants and I will go back to a smaller flowerbed instead of pots, which need more watering.

So I’m a little wheezy but hope the pharmacy will get it right before I go away tomorrow to Salisbury to do a poetry reading. I’ll be staying there.


Things go wrong…

The pharmacist didn’t send the medicine my doctor prescribed earlier this year so I am wheezing this morning. I have inhaler, so no real problem but it tells me how wonderful that tablet is….I am grateful. So grateful.

What are you grateful for today?

I can’t explain…

If you’re not doing this, you don’t love the person you’re with. And if they speak badly of you behind your back, they certainly don’t love you, Mike.

I sleep well these days. But every morning I wake feeling low and not wanting to get up. This has been going on for three weeks or so. It bothers me. Any ideas? Also, I’ve realised that I completely forget details from the day before.

I know it’s to do with my new medicine which are basically anti-histamines. They shouldn’t affect my mood. As for my lack of memory, it does come back in dribs and drabs. That doesn’t really worry me.

For years ago today, I got an award for my humanitarian work and being a talented writer. I don’t remember who from, even. It was in my facebook memories.

Why I won’t use iPhone

I have been laughed at and mocked because I refuse to use iPhone. I actually don’t renew my Samsung every two years either because it’s unnecessary. I had my last phone for six years and bought it second hand. Why? BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT THE PLANET and HUMAN RIGHTS.

The minerals used in any smart phone need to be mined. I’m not entirely up to speed on where these are mined but I know that Congo, India, China, and Australia are some of them. I know that children are used to mine thestuff in Congo, and as for China, well, their human rights record is zero, nil, null, zilch. China not only mines the minerals but manufactures iPhones because Apple likes the cheap labour. Shame on Apple.

In China, people ‘disappear’ for apparently no reason. Business men, minor politicians, writers, artists and dissidents. Minorities are oppressed and put in concentration camps. China calls this ‘re-education’. People and children are exploited for cheap labour. China does no publish how many people it executes. It is ignoring the treaty with Britain over Hong Kong, and will prevail over the protests because China does not lose face.

I get told, China and Korea there’s no difference. But we are talking South Korea which makes Samsung, which is a democracy. The governments are elected and it upholds human rights. So my conscience is clear.

The world is just beginning to wake up to the waste created by smartphones on the planet. There are recycling schemes growing around the world but in my opinion no one needs a new smartphone every two years just so that it does something one second faster. I only changed to a newer second hand phone so I could have a banking app because my former neighbour committed fraud with my bank account. I still miss my old phone.

A difficult day…

I don’t ask for much. The above is fine for me. When I became engaged I picked a ring that cost £20. Our wedding cost £240. I don’t want another wedding, just someone to love back and lie on the grass looking at the stars.

So today I had some time pressures and I got a bit breathless. I had a moment of alarm. But recovered. I can’t remember if I took al my medicines because I had a thought and went to do it, and then couldn’t remember what I’d taken. I can’t let that happen again.

I no longer carry my inhaler around the house because the tightness and wheezing are so rare now. I just need not to rush when people are waiting for me and I’ve been held up.

Some thoughts…

No photo today;

If you are in a relationship in which your ‘partner’ speaks badly of you, get out. I have heard ”He’s a complete idiot”, ”It doesn’t matter, it’s Mike’s money anyway”. Anyone who has that said about them is not loved.

I’ve had slight breathlessness twice this week. I don’t know why. There was no similar activity, except maybe over exertion. My trolley ran out of battery twice. I’ve realised I sometimes don’t push the charger in far enough. It’s difficult to know when this has occurred. It looks just the same.

I entertain angels unawares. Men who help me beyond my need. I am so grateful. It’s really awesome.