More on my last step on this Odyssey

My dog proved to be my best friend when I was feeling so ill after my night of pains in my tummy.

The morning had been tolerable and we visited my Dad. But during the afternoon I felt very ill and weepy. I kept thinking about my daughter as a new born baby, wishing time could go back, thinking of all the thing I did in running a home and being a wife and mother. Now, I am breathless after two yards. And the dystonia comes in waves.

At some point,  a strangeness overwhelmed me. I began to feel a sensation take over my body. My dog jumped up beside me on my bed and put his paw on my chest. His ears were forward and a quizzical look on his face. I laid my hand on his neck, comforted by him, and he stayed until the wails that came from me disturbed him and he went to lie on some of my clothes.

As he did this, I suddenly realised I had not taken a medication the previous evening, and as I looked for it, it dawned on me I had missed a couple of doses. I was in withdrawals. No wonder I felt so utterly wretched. I took a dose, and lay weeping as my emotional state was withdrawal induced.

I thank God for my loving and beloved dog, his devotion and empathy. His unconditional love for me. Not for the first time either. Over the years, his devotion to me has been evident so many times, in so many ways.

I am now more myself. I had discovered hemp tea and had my first cup last night. Wih some honey, it is very soothing and although my ex husband, who is staying here as my daughter is away, said some thoughtless, hurtful things, causing adrenaline to flood my body, I was asleep ten minutes afterward.

I am grateful for my friends’ response to my last entry. Their love, compassion. and appreciation of my journey. That is such a gift. I have had good gifts in the last few days and I must scoop away the dross that comes from the refiner’s fire,

By Chrisssie Morris Brady

I've read poetry since I was nine and have written creatively since I was fourteen (probably long before that). After writing book reviews and social comment, I decided I wanted to write poetry. I have no formal training, but I surround myself with poets and their writing. I am honing my craft.
I have two published collections which I don't feel good about, but have been published by and other publications. I live on the south coast of England with my daughter. I am seriously ill.

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