Poem published by Anti-Heroin Chic…/i-want-dark-by-chrissie…

I Want Dark

having opened my skull
they poked in my brain
four times
once a nurse fainted when
the bandages came off
the fourth time I lost it
screamed my lungs out
before I flatlined
it went dark

the third one took my voice
I was silent for two months
and spent six years getting
my speech back
it still disappears
when I’m tired or raped
living seems too hard
I want dark

my body was unable to move
they didn’t know where
I should be
a cleaner saved me by smiling
hello till I replied
then mumbled
mostly dark
Chrissie Morris Brady lives