OK, I don’t know how to put a photo here. When I have, it’s been due to accidental success rather than know how.
Last night I had to call for paramedics to come and clear my lungs with a nebuliser. They scared me for a moment when they asked what I was usually given for this. Of course, I know what I am usually given but my alarm was, briefly, that they didn’t know what they were doing. I wanted that feeling of the cavalry having arrived and being safe. Happily, harmony was restored and when they left I could speak easily without gasping for breath.
So it took a while to get to sleep after that as I was trembling from the steroids used. I then slept late and was woken by the phone ringing. I didn’t have a clue where I was or what had awakened me but then in a flash reality kicks in. It was the secretary of the respiratory consultant that I’ve missed seeing twice due to my health. She was very stern with me but conceded that I would have been unable to cancel my appointment while sleeping under the influence of morphine. I am still not certain of my status with that appointment, but I have a phone call booked with my GP tomorrow. I can tell him about it.
I am writhing with dystonia today. It is probably an affect of the steroid nebuliser. Nevertheless, it disconcerts me because I don’t know of anyone with the skills needed to treat me. I have already become accustomed to the medicine that was prescribed to help me sleep. The dystonia does make me nervous. I have the rarest type and as far as I know am the only person who has it in Britain. This is loneliness.
I wish my daughter had not moved in with her boyfriend’s family. I miss her so much and her visits are never frequent enough. I love her so much and lately I’ve felt like she is in her room, behind the wall behind my bed. The sensation comforts me until I realise she is not there.
I am thrilled to discover that blogging is a community and I have had some wonderful encounters through comments and emails. For this I am grateful to other bloggers, learning from them and my appreciation is heartfelt.