Trust Issues…

I am realising how difficult I find it to trust people these days. Especially since my sister died of sepsis last October and my dog a week later.

My neighbour proved to be completely untrustworthy. A friend who is a vicar felt it was his place to tell me my sister had died and while I was sitting with her body kept texting me persistently. I finally snapped and told him if he kept on texting me I would call the police. He completely ejected me from his life after 20 years of friendship. His secretary who had also been my friend for many, many years blocked me out because the vicar had.

Now a friend has blocked me because I asked for payment in kind for some counselling for his girlfriend. I spent years learning so that I could be a Dr of Psychology and my friends get £££ of advice free but this was a planned session and I asked for payment in kind. He went mad at me, broke a commitment, and won’t speak to me. Ironically, I paid him to help me with my garden and I know more about gardening than he does, but he works as a gardener.

My wondrous cleaner who was so much more than a cleaner, has realised what a mess her life is in and has quit all her jobs. I can’t blame her at all, she is the daughter of an alcoholic, but I’ve had a long list of unreliable cleaners.

People have made promises to me and not kept them. I don’t know who to trust.

I am still grateful. I have so much to be grateful for.

By Chrisssie Morris Brady

I've read poetry since I was nine and have written creatively since I was fourteen (probably long before that). After writing book reviews and social comment, I decided I wanted to write poetry. I have no formal training, but I surround myself with poets and their writing. I am honing my craft.
I have two published collections which I don't feel good about, but have been published by and other publications. I live on the south coast of England with my daughter. I am seriously ill.

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