A very painful night…

I omitted to say, yesterday, that my poem was published by Poetry Bar. It was written in August.

Yesterday, a girl who was giving me help was incredibly rude to me. It came out of nowhere, and shocked me to the core. My mood flipped into negativity and adrenalin flooded my nervous system.

I managed to counter the negativity. Adrenalin, however, is my worst nightmare. It provokes muscles spasms that are part of the disease that struck me down.

I spent the whole night writhing with agonising muscle tension. It made me very aware of the bruise on the back of my pelvis. My shoulders were tortured, my arms, my legs, and especially my spine. Every muscle was fighting with my body. It was the worst night of my life in years and years.

I am very tired, I ache, and I plan to sleep. I cannot allow this to destroy my well-being any further. I feel so isolated though, as I seem to be the only person in the country living with this disease. This is what scares me. There is no research going on. There is no medicine that helps me.

I put my trust in God. Darkness lasts for a night, but joy comes in the morning.