When someone let’s you down…

We’ve all been let down, right? And it can leave us feeling all range of emotions from slight annoyance to complete devastation.

It tends to leave us feeling unworthy of someone’s time, or lonely, angry, disappointed, and low self esteem.

Don’t let it!! No, the person who let you down, let themselves down much more than you.

Last weekend, I was going to go to the next county with some friends. I arranged to go some of the way by bus, and I fixed with another friend to leave my trolley in the foyer of his flats and be picked up from there by the friends I was going with. The guy with the foyer doesn’t have a phone, so I was to message him on facebook and he would meet my bus.

On the day, I felt a bit tired and out of sorts, so I cancelled with my friends and sent a message to the foyer friend. I kept checking to see if he’d opened it as I did not want him wandering around bus stops. He read it at about 5.30pm and replied ‘OK’. I was a bit puzzled, and replied that I was relieved I had not gone as I would have been stranded with my trolley. His reply was, ‘No harm done.’

‘No? I trust you less. I highly value the trust of my friends’ was my answer.

People who let you down rob themselves. They go down in your esteem, they lose your trust, they may not get a reference. It is nothing to do with you.

In the last year, ever since my sister was dying, people have let me down. While my sister was so desperately ill, I realised how much a vicar had been imposing his will on me and manipulating me. My realisation made me feel ill. With hindsight, his control of me is frightening. I had to get him out of my life. It has been so much better. He caused me anxiety, made me feel guilty, almost like an abusive marriage.

Others have let me down and they are people I need to continue to relate to. The dynamics don’t need to change that much if you both have the emotional literacy to talk about it. If that is not there, one just has be patient and hopeful that they can realise the hurt they caused. I have someone who was supposed to come to me for a holiday. She has let me down. I am related to her and love her, but need to wait for her to realise.

My biggest disappointment this year was Mike Ebsworth. He has always known my health was poor. To tell me I had set my sights on him to be my cleaner, cook, and nurse. He let himself down for thinking that’s all I wanted him for, when I had fallen in love him when he came back to see me, and me, for not being honest with himself.