Out of the EU…

Today has been a strange day. I felt like my mojo was missing. I can’t put my finger on it.

I have been productive though. I’ve got a lot of writing done. I just seemed so absent minded.

On Wednesday evening, I celebrated the removal of the gate next door with cheese,wine and chocolate. My midweek glass of wine. It was very enjoyable.

Yesterday a friend visited and another one today. And in between my writing.

The nerve in my leg began to hurt again, so I meditated on it and it faded away.

This is the strangest post I’ve ever written.

Some great news and my garden…

I went to get some shopping earlier and as I came out of my gates I saw that my neighbour’s gate next to mine is gone. Yes, gone!!!!

The gate is gone!!!!!!!!

I laughed out loud. I felt such relief. I also confess to some pleasure that the miserable spirit that was so determined to get his way, has had his nose punched, so to speak.

I did write to someone in authority yesterday. I don’t know if that did it or if others who use the car park for the sheltered housing had complained. All I know is that my relief is great.

So I celebrated by putting two water snails in my tiny pond, and two water plants. I feel sorry for the snails as they have such cold water. I need to adjust a few things. I have some new plants to plant too.

My fig tree has been in bud since October, so I’m looking forward to see what this year brings. One tiny fig appeared last autumn too. I pinched it off so that no energy gets diverted from leaves and growth.

Oh, I’m so happy about the gate. They won’t be renting space in my head again.

Just a couple of weeks now and the sun will be in my back garden. I can’t wait.

My neighbours, Mike, and Quay Living…

I have decided that these people cannot rent space in my head anymore.

My neighbours’ windchimes are making a din and quite frankly I can’t bear it, I will be buying headphones. I can’t let myself become ill because of them. I don’t like to do this because I love birdsong, although they ended that. I also love the sound of wind and rain.

Now the man nextdoor has started hammering nails above and below the handle of the drop down bolt of the rear gate that they keep open. This breaches their tenancy rules. I’ve had to pull them out once, but they were put right back. Such immaturity is beyond me.

Quay Living, the letting agent, don’t care. All they want is their money. They couldn’t care less that the wider neighbourhood has been upset by their tenants.

Mike has been hard to get out of my head. It’s not my fault he thinks so little of himself that he decided I only wanted him to be my ‘cleaner, cook and nurse’. It’s not surprising though as when he lived next door he was treated pretty much like a dog. Not allowed out, not able to keep promises he made to me about making amends for waking me at 3am and manhandling me.

He broke my laptop, and is so cowardly that he changed his phone number. He must have much lower self-esteem than I ever realised, but it’s not surprising considering the relationship. She referred to him as a complete idiot, and the money I owed didn’ ‘matter, it’s Mike’s money anyway’. And she moved him a 40 minute walk from his work, telling him they need to save money, when there are rentals under £850 much nearer. It was to control him and keep him away from me. But it didn’t work. He came to see me, and that was what tipped me into love.

But it’s useless loving someone who is so messed up that they stay in a toxic relationship.

The weather…

It is pouring with rain and feels like 2C. That’s just above freezing.

I have wanted to visit neighbour. On Saturday evening there was a frenzied rapping at my door. It was a doctor looking for Amanda. Not here. As I resumed my sofa, it dawned on me that Amanda lives at 9. I went to the door and called out to the doctor to go to number 9.

I wanted to drop in today to see if she was ok, and if they need anything. It’s a bit too much to walk and if I use the trolley, I will get soaked. I hope the weather will be drier tomorrow.

I have met resistance again in the same locality with the campaign. I will not post there again. Everywhere else is on board, though some feel it’s too late. But this is to the PM, and I tell them I have written to him. This garners some signatures.

My writing is getting more read on medium. It feels good.

The Six Nations…

I have spent today urging people to sign a petition, answering questions and statements made about the proposed changes to our hospitals that were so convoluted that I could barely believe them, and have had everything mansplained to me several times.

It happens, but not as frequently as today.

I am looking forward to the Six Nations rugby championship which starts next Saturday. I always support Ireland, who do well when they don’t win. I love rugby, my phone google follows it for me along with a loot of other sports.

Not so good Saturday…

Yesterday evening, my daughter said something unkind to me. My whole being seemed to shrink and my purpose in life wobbled for a while.

The people we love can hurt us in places other people cannot reach. The love that binds us feels the knife of words deeply, forgives easily, but the wound can sink deep and wobble us.

This is normal. My identity as a mother still runs deep, although it’s no longer my primary function.We take the blows of unfiltered children more easily. My daughter was always so sweet to me when she was small. The only unfiltered comment that amused me, concerned me, made me laugh, and feel substandard all at once were her yearly questions about whether she would get as many freckles as I.

In her teens, I managed to not show how her angry outbursts affected me. I still don’t let on how much she can hurt me. It serves no useful purpose.

I am struggling with the campaign, as we still have only 2 000 signatures on the latest petition to save our hospital. It increases daily, but more and more slowly. So an unkind remark has more effect.

I am ok now. Time brings perspective.

I had anchovies in garlic for lunch yesterday.High in fat and protein. I enjoyed it.

On becoming defacto leader of the campaign to save our hospital…

I wrote a letter to the Prime Minister. As a person, he intrigues me. Highly intelligent, lots of subjects to talk about. As a politician, he represents nothing I value.

But the hospital needs saving. I not only needed to be nice to him, I complimented him to help him see our point of view and that people will die if he doesn’t intervene.

Politics is about making friends with one’s natural enemies. It isn’t always as easy as writing a letter. Sometimes one has to sit across the table and look them in eye. I have no idea if the letter will work. I may need to write more.

I’m trying to organise direct action, but few are willing when they realise the police will pay us a visit. At the moment we are a team of two. We can do it with two, but more would be good.

It’s hard. Now is crunch time. Time to act.

The power of a nap…

Today, around noon, I shut down my phone and got into bed. I napped for about two hours. I didn’t realise I was tired, but looking back at my week I’ve woken early most mornings and the pain in my thigh has occurred twice.

Pain is tiring, and so is waking at 5.30 am. At some point we need to replenish. I’m fortunate that because I work from home, I can take a nap when I choose.

I enjoy my life, working in this way. I’m having lunch with a friend tomorrow. The weather here is very sunny, and very cold. When the sun goes in, the temperature drops a great deal. I shall enjoy the occasion, on the quay, by the harbour where I live.

Boost your mind…

I write for a lot of my day, so I thought I’d share some things I do throughout the day to keep my mind alert.

1, I stop for lunch, which I eat in another room.

2. I have a couple of scrabble games going, so I stop to take my turn.

3. My scrabble is on facebook, so I always have my ‘active’turned off.

4. I do a quiz on my phone. It’s fun, not serious.

6. I stop to drink, tea, juice, cordial

7. I snack on nuts and dried fruit.

8. I inhale slowly and deeply five times

9. I look at something twenty feet away for twenty seconds.

I don’t do these in any particular order, just whatever is at hand or feel like at that moment.