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Later today…

After my tepid shower early this morning I laid down, determined to sleep. I laughed, because if one is determined to sleep, success is not guaranteed. But I fell asleep around 8.30, because I missed my favourite news programme of the week.

I woke at 1pm feeling sleep satisfied, but not quite myself. Nothing specific.

I logged into medium.com and found I had more followers and responses to articles I have written. I so value this validation.

I have started a new campaign to try to save our local hospital, which serves a vast rural area. The political plan is to downgrade our acute hospital to elective surgeries only, and a walk in Urgent Care for minor injuries only. They want to upgrade a second-rate hospital on the far side of the next town, which means much longer travel times for the majority of the population. This flies in the face of common sense, let alone the risk assessment made by the ambulance service, and the nominated hospital has also calculated that 56 people per year will suffer a negative clinical result. Their figure is well below reality.

After the Tories won such a landslide victory, I was so gobsmacked that I thought I would no longer campaign. But habits die hard, and I have started a new petition, addressed to PM Boris Johnson. (His first name is Alex, but he adopted his middle name when he was about 14. We all refer to him as ‘Boris’.)

So my day so far has been productive, even though it’s Sunday. I don’t go out as much in winter, so it’s no problem. I take leisure time when it suits me.

I am about to eat some dinner, though it’s quite early. And I need to find someone to fetch my prescription, which my friend failed to get yesterday because she didn’t care enough. She thought the chemist would still be open when the shop she works had shut. The chemist closes at 5pm on a Saturday, and at the same time as her shop every weekday.

But I’m ready to sleep well tonight, and have a movie picked out for tonight.

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A reply first published on medium.com…

This is such a great piece, and has made my eyes prick with tears for my last love. He came to move in with me after a nine month gap, at which time he was my neighbour. I loved asking him about his day, I loved expressing my gratitude for the things he did for me. I loved to tell him I valued his skills at putting my towel rack together, the shelving in my kitchen and a small trolley to slide into my under- the- stairs cupboard. While he was doing something else, I knelt on the floor looking at a bird table with roof that I had not dreamt would need putting together. It had screws. I took a breath and said, I’ll glue it. He immediately turned to me and said to let him have look. Three minutes later, it was put together with the screws.

He might be in town and text to ask if I needed anything. No. So he would bring me chocolate.

I have poor health, but he didn’t mind. He made wonderful love to me, and I to him.

When he came to move in, he’d been more hasty than I anticipated. The first night left us both with sleep deprivation. The next day, I sat next to him and asked his opinion about a change in the help I had in the house as I was dissatisfied with the help I had. He just kept telling me not to cancel it. I thought he was tired, so I left it for another day. I popped out to see a friend, and when I came back he was gone. At first I thought he’d gone to the local store. No, he was gone as in gone. Later he would text to tell me I had chased him to get a cleaner, cook, and nurse. I felt sad he thought so little of me and himself.

I am not over him.

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I’m awake, too warm…

I woke at 3am. I think I was too warm. We need to be in cooler room to sleep well -cooler than the way we heat our homes. That’s why we sleep with our windows ajar.

Yesterday evening, I felt a little cold so I lit my candle heater. It’s a terracotta dome over a candle. They are easy to make with terracotta flower pots. I went to sleep with it still burning, which was a mistake.

If you run or work out in the evening, be sure to let your core temperature drop before you go to bed. We cannot get optimum sleep while we are too warm. This is why I would often wrap my daughter warmly and let her sleep in her pram in the garden. It is the optimum rest.

I have just had a tepid shower to cool myself and feel cooled. I did not feel over warm, but just in want of refreshing. It has helped.

I will lay to try to sleep again.