In lot’s of pain now…

I am feeling the pain of this week. The tiredness from lack of sleep and panic attacks. The stress of how certain ‘agencies’ have treated me.

Painting the gates has been good mentally but now I am feeling the aches, and my ankle hurts more because I’m so tired.

I phoned the police station in Germany. I was doing well until I was asked why my friend needed proof of his pass being stolen. What is ‘home office; in German? I’m not sure what it is in American.

We got past that and I gave a date. Then I gave it as single numbers to be sure. I asked if he had got my drift. He said 2017 in English. I responded that he knew English. Oh yes he said I know English. I was not surprised at all, but said that he had let me search for unusual vocabulary in German without letting me off the hook. I also told him in German that my uncle used to play soccer for Dortmund Barbarossia.

They did not have the information I needed and he gave me the number for the Bulgarian Embassy in Bonn.

I seem to have done a lot today but feel like I’ve accomplished nothing.

I have thanked my paramedics who attended me, and also asked for my thanks to go out to the whole Trust for their dedication during the lockdown. We are now on Stay Alert which means every one piles to the beaches and Quay and buy beer from supermarkets and put a strain on the emergency services.

I thanked the staff of my local hospital, where I have responsibilities, for their dedication and hard work.

I was looking for ear buds today as a neighbour’s daughter lost her headphones. As I looked, I recalled being told I’ve got too much stuff. Well, having seen photos of where they live, there is just as much stuff in their home. I have a lot of my sister’s hair products etc, and I’m not ready to part with them yet. One day I will be, and I’ll have less stuff than in their home. I gave the girl my spare earbuds.

By Chrisssie Morris Brady

I've read poetry since I was nine and have written creatively since I was fourteen (probably long before that). After writing book reviews and social comment, I decided I wanted to write poetry. I have no formal training, but I surround myself with poets and their writing. I am honing my craft.
I have two published collections which I don't feel good about, but have been published by and other publications. I live on the south coast of England with my daughter. I am seriously ill.

6 replies on “In lot’s of pain now…”

I hope you get over the panic attacks. I’ve had them once for about 6 months when I was going through my divorce 16 years ago. Took Paxil for those 6 months, they subsided and I haven’t had them again since that time. Sending prayers to you!

Liked by 2 people

Thanks Lisa! I don’t have them from anxiety as a condition,. Poor you, my cousin is still having panic attacks from a breakdown. It must be horrible to have them repeatedly. Mine was caused by a phone call from a very malicious woman, and then by the way the police treated me. I have rapid shallow breathing due to one, well both of my diseases. I so appreciate your empathy as they are so unpleasant.

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