No rain, cool day…

There is meant to be more rain, but not today. It’s meant to be changeable all weekend.

Construction stops and starts and that distresses me. I can imagine Malice reading this, because I know she does, all gleeful at the thought that I might lose my light.

As a copper said to me, she will get what’s coming to her. The evil she does.

An acquaintance named Helena, has also experienced her evil, as somehow, Mike was taken from her. She thinks I’m a much better match for him than Malice and couldn’t believe how much he’d told me about himself in such a short time. Yeah, we connected.

My ankle is still very painful. My doctor says it’s a very bad sprain and might take months. I know it can take much longer. I’ve had sprains from sports that took about a year.

We’re lowering the dose of my med. Yes, the med that keeps me alive. The side effects are horrendous.

Nominated for the Liebster award…

I’ve been nominated by https://whatsonsidsmind.com/author/whatsonsidsmind/

for the Liebster Award. I’m not sure what to do or how to respond. I’m hopeless with links. These are questions he asked me:

What is that one hobby/interest/talent which you have side-lined but would like to revisit and why?

Cooking. I have travelled a lot a picked up recipes. I worked as a cook in Barcelona, Spain and Enniskillen, the North of Ireland. I love feeding people and experimenting. I still cook, but less lavishly.

Who is your role model (if any) and why?

My Dad. He could mix with royalty and the poorest without distinction. He was kind, patient, loving and tender. He was universally loved, and taught me to love nature, respect it and leave it alone. He was my strength when I had none.

What do you think are your greatest strengths?

Gosh, I’m not sure I know. Determination, grit, compassion, being a friend, thinking outside the box, not conforming. I am generous and have a huge capacity to love.

What is that one piece of writing/post that you are most proud of?

Any piece that confronts racism, poverty, hunger, and war. I hope all of these are reflected in my poetry as well as blog posts.

What do you do to motivate yourself when you are down?

Self talk. We are what we think. I try to tell myself I am worth loving. That giving up fails myself and my family. I tell myself things will get better.

The poison pen…

The malice of some woman. Jealous. Empty life. Alcoholic.

A friend in Brooklyn said ‘No wonder he preferred you to her’. People who do this are mentally ill.

I would know this writing anywhere although she has attempted to straighten her dropped curls. The note paper is a complete give away.

Her sister will recognise it as well as Michael.

Tiny minds do tiny things. But the damage caused is unforgiveable. Thankfully I am friendly with a Chief Inspector, who has used his discretion to allocate an officer. They are really busy right now. She can sweat. So can the letting agency who blamed me for the loss of the last tenants.

I am still enjoying English conversation classes. I wish I had started before last summer.

My garden will be beautifully nourished by rain water. It is still raining.

Zoom poetry last night. Chaotic but no one got drunk. Professional poetry events by zoom have an agenda, and no one speaks. It feels odd not to clap. But no chaos.

Rain at last…

We are here to be kind and do good to each other.

I am so glad that at last it is raining. I don’t need to water the garden and maybe some of the idiots will go home from our beaches. I don’t mind people coming for holidays, it’s beautiful here. But mass invasion, needing all our emergency services? No. It has been horrible. Major injuries, near drownings, boats and kayaks in difficulty. And locals buying their kids paddleboards just at this time.

The rain is heavy now. I’m really happy.

So glad to see black people hugging cops who express sorrow over attitudes that led to so many executions. And cops marching with protesters. Trump is being sued over breaking another amendment. Get that man out!!

I have contacted more media about my plight with the planned construction. A man from my county council picked it up and has sent it to complaints there.

There are decent people out there with a conscience. I have met some wonderful people.

Most of us are decent and well mannered. Most of us are kind and don’t hesitate to help others.

We accept apologies. We don’t continue feuds, especially based on assumptions. In my work, and life generally, I don’t assume anything. It makes an ass u me together.

I can’t stand people who won’t accept an apology. I will apologise even when I am in the right, as I value relationships more than being right.

There is a huge yacht in the harbour, motionless but lights on. She is either in difficulty or fog bound. Some tugs are moving around her. I’m curious. I will drop in at the harbour master later and ask.

Her lights are out now but no boat has ever moored alongside just there. It’s the fishing shambles. Fish are unloaded there.

Another huge cruiser is just further out. Did they collide? The plot thickens.

A chink of hope…

The phrase in this meme is something I often say to alcoholics in early recovery or people who can’t seem to move on…

I protested last Thursday because I want something to stop. That didn’t get me far except the police have complete sympathy for me. That gave me a tiny succour and today I replied to some emails.

Construction has stopped. I don’t know how long for.

Today I bumped into a friend in my neighbourhood. He said if I decide to move, he and his sons will do it for me. And he added, whatever you do don’t use QL, pointing at the office, they’re plonkers and added another word I can’t repeat.

I said how strange! They let the house next door to me and they libel me and act like the Stasi. ‘Utter incompetents’ he responded. This is why I never mention my town. No one is identifiable.

So, I have made a short list of maybes. From my neighbourhood to 30 miles away. But I know a move won’t happen. I’m exhausted and all I’ve done is wander the Quay and water the garden.

The rest is writing, which doesn’t take effort except mental concentration. I got my weekly report from my editing suite. A new tone was detected. Sad.

I saw him yesterday, maybe Saturday. He was hurrying which takes away his gracefulness. But I recognised the width of his shoulders and narrow hips, although he is gaining inches of fat. Alcohol does that.

My strawberries are not yet ripe. Still more sweetness to come. And more flowers are blooming so more fruit to come and there are others still green.

Figs are doing well, and tomato plants are massive. I need to cut away more leaves so that the fruit gets more sun and flavour.

I’m not anxious since the builders left. I now have more writing to do to send to my county’s central council.

I shall sleep easy tonight.

Poem published…

George Floyd


Let Monument Valley crack and crumble

the Statue of Liberty fall to her knees in tears

another black man has been executed


A knee on the throat intent to murder

a man who never resisted arrest

that he was black gives license


Let the smoke block out the sun and moon

will American institutions wake up now

let there be another revolution for equality

with thanks to Poetry Bar

Some good things…

It’s been great to do some English conversation class this morning. It’s good to be distracted from my worry about the construction site opposite.

It’s fun to help people get fluency in English. I always give them notes on new nouns or verbs used, and whether the verb is regular or irregular, or reflexive.

I’ve had to change my top up shop as my local one is full of men buying cans of beer or lager. My vicinity is littered with overweigh men, stripped to the waist, lobster red and guzzling alcohol.

The closed beaches are filled with people who ignored police blocks. The police are overwhelmed. I blame Dominic Cummings, and Boris Johnson’s stupid ‘Stay Alert’ instruction.

Locals are driven to staying at home. My regular trips to the RNLI station is no longer a pleasure.

I find it hard to relax when I’m not busy. People had read my blog before 8am this morning. This bothers me. In England. The search terms were odd, and the pages they looked at were just random.

I am waiting to hear from so many people.

It’s very hot. My dehumidifier has barely any more water in it. The difference it makes though.

My cousin is hoping to come down. I did find a great place to live near her, on a river, but I don’t have the strength to move.