Early evening 24 hours since leaving hospital…

I had a really good night’s sleep. I woke a little earlier than I would like but that’s no big deal.

After only three nights in hospital, with intense investigations, it is enough to make one feel cut off from the world. I had my borrowed laptop there and my phone was busy. In fact I put it on silent because there was an overload of noise and with sudden news a test will be happening, it was too much. Writing is my happy place.

I haven’t managed to keep well hydrated today. It’s passable but not enough. As well as having some cordial for my water bottle, I took some milkshakes, and there was a morning tea round and again in the afternoon. I think I drank two litres from my water bottle each day, plus a pint of milk shake and two cups of tea.

The food was good. I ordered small portions and requested a pack of sandwiches for later as I tend to eat small meals less often. This was overruled by the kitchen. One or the other. I am a member of the hospital, so will suggest they adapt. Nurses were able to find me sandwiches anyway.

Two years ago, I bought a new mattress which is really comfortable. More recently, I got a thick mattress topper so I could luxuriate in sinking into ultimate comfort. Today, I realised that it takes more effort to get out of it. That is no good for my breathing. The topper was amazing deal at a third of the price, so I won’t lose a fortune and may be able to give it away.

People are reaching out to me through social media. I’m not sure why, but I’m happy to help where I can. Today, privately, I’ve communicated with friends in Virginia, Malaysia, as well as local friends. I feel very loved, except I am missing someone so much it hurts.

I met nurses who nursed my sister when she was dying. They all remember how awful it was. It brought tears.

I did okay until around 3pm today. Then I was aware of tiredness and the effects of not having nurses, doctors and technicians no longer running around.

I had not seen a weather forecast and was surprised by the cold morning. I had forgotten my cold journey home. My mind has not adjusted, but may be more connected to life away from hospital.

Black men are twice as likely to get prostrate cancer. A nurse told me when I asked about her thesis. I’m glad I know now, it helps me to understand. Black men were experimented on in Tuskagee 1973, which is why they fear racism in health care.

I’m going to chill now. I need down time. Please feel free to comment.