The Path We Walk

I started out full of hope
travel, people, cuisines
adventure and experiences

I never lacked male company
men were falling for me
I could not see it

you wooed me, manipulating
I tried to resist that, stay myself
you were a bully, I didn’t see

until too late, although
I wept with joy at our wedding
my love was too blind

you wanted me to be happy
it’s true, but your seed made
a child inside me, a life

I nurtured, but you made war
the conflict was too much
you made holes in my soul

or fitted in the ones already there
poison spilled in as I chose my child
not you, who never honored me

you undermined until the hole
swallowed me, finding I was hiding
cash to make an escape

when I told you to go you blamed me
for your past, I never realised
I would pay for it too

take your past, your disrespect, your blame
it is not mine, though I fought your battle
no more, no more, no more

I will walk alone rather than with you
who mocks, disrespects, has no regard
alone is far richer, more peaceful

I choose it over you, who destroyed
my self belief, my confidence, my being
peace is mine now, joy comes my way

Published in Contemplate

Painkillers for breakfast again…

I am still getting pain from having to plant plants in haste, as I was let down at the last minute. I went to bed at 9pm last night as I was so very tired. It can take up to a week for me to recover from gardening, especially when I have not planned ahead to do manageable tasks.

As a friend pointed out, free often comes with a catch. I just did not expect to be slandered so cruelly on a website. People I have never heard of joined in, saying bad things about me or sympathizing without realising there are two sides to every story. Even saying they’ve met me. I’ve actually only met three people from Nextdoor, and two became very good friends.

A jealous person has tried to use the website to speak ill of me, and later accepted an invitation from me. I know where they live now.

I actually care not what people think of me. The people that matter know me to be kind. The rest mean nothing. I help strangers all the time. I help whoever I can on Nextdoor.

It’s funny, the guy I welcomed to Nextdoor and later mentioned free gardening was, I thought, a school friend of my daughter, who I had also welcomed that day. I know he would never have broken his word, or slandered me all over a website.