I always pretend to hear whispers of our world, yet my mind always drifts towards that open void, reflecting on kisses that undress the ache of my scars, unfurling sorrows as if silken ribbons. These will never wither, but will be absorbed by you when low moments come to mock.
And as time settles into evening, your shadow will hang itself from my core. And with sighs quivering between my lips – my spirit will wrap itself around warmth of your body. And when you stroke your fingers through my hair – you will feel each aching breath of me.
A lot of people have been nasty to me. Some neighbours, and people who believe the lies told by Mr Jackson on Nextdoor.co.uk. His lies are incredible but people fall for the them without even considering there is another side to the story. The police are on it. I have received calls from quite a few numbers that are not contacts. This is harassment.
All this is no reflection on me. Two very lovely police officers spoke with me yesterday. I send updates as they occur.
Yesterday, I asked a neighbour to return a bag which I had used to take some books for their children. I had asked them to use the back as that is so much easier for me. They did not see my text until quite a long time later, when they arrived at their study session. Then I got a reply that it was outside my front door.
I was alarmed, as I fear theft. So I hurried downstairs but could not open it. So I rushed to back and used my trolley to go around and to my front door. Returning to my back garden, I somehow tore my favourite skirt, the bag fell down and I have only just retrieved it this morning when I went to water some newly planted plants.
My skirt is irreparable. I can’t even make a patch for it.
Meanwhile, I have been waiting for two weeks for my lead at SWAST to inform me of something. I have reminded them four times. I have made my boss aware. Finally, I emailed him and had tears.
My lead then provided what I needed, but with qualification. I read no further but thanked her.
All of this conspired to affect my breathing. Mainly my neighbour. Paramedics attended and nebulised me, and noted that my blood oxygen was varying according to how I sat. I had noticed this before. Fortunately, I work at my laptop lying on my tummy. So that is good for my breathing. And oxygen levels.