How Men Can Age Well

As men age, a lot tend to slow down, kick back, and relax.

This is a big mistake. Please don’t make it. You will lose everything that makes you happy, content, and good company.

If you are not taking any exercise already, now is the time to start. Get a fairly decent bike, or start running. If you choose running, run on grass, otherwise, go to a sports shop and get good running shoes. You don’t want to wear your ankles and knees out.

If you a beginner, stop when you start to perspire. Your heartbeat will be faster. Your face will glow.

Every day go just a bit further. Stop if you get out of breath. Please.

If exercise is your habit, keep it going all your life. It will keep you fit and alert. You will find life less stressful than your inactive peers. You will be happier, content, and probably in a great relationship.

Exercise keeps your testosterone levels up. Aging causes them to drop. Activity fools the brain into thinking you are younger. You will keep enjoying a good sex life, as you have enabled yourself to keep getting erections.

A man who exercises learns what foods he needs. Low carbohydrates and high proteins. Drink plenty of water, limit the coffee, and drink alcohol occasionally.

If you have given up alcohol for whatever reason, stick with it. You aren’t missing much. If you were drinking as an addiction, make sure you have support, AA, or whatever works.

There is no such thing as a male ‘’menopause’’’, which isn’t always ghastly for women. There is simply becoming idle and lazy. That leads to impotence.

So live your life well. In all aspects. Be kind, generous, learn to understand people. Grasp the nuances, be actively making black lives matter, respect women.

If you can do this and experience the beautifulness of aging, you will be wise as well.


Chest infection again…

On Thurday night paramedics attended. They nebulised me and my chest was clear, but she told me she felt I had an infection.

It was then that I realised that the hospital had replaced the medicines that I took with me except antibiotics. Major oversight.

Good Friday chemists were shut but I got some on Saturday and I am no longer wheezing. However, I feel incredibly weak.

This morning I delivered Easter eggs to all the houses with children or window boxes. I watered my friends window box that I made for them. As they are both trauma nurses they don’t get time to water frequently.

I thought a friend was coming, but no sign of him yet.

I need help planting my plants.


My Garden

My garden has taken work and time
to become the haven for wildlife

Í planted trees, dug out a stubborn weed
made sure rain sinks into the ground

My path gets tufts of weed, I leave them
critters live and hibernate in them
I take them out late in spring, to start
another year of growth, it’s valuable

Eventually, I took away the grass, no time
or energy to mow, replaced with moss
and gravelly stones in between the flowers
low maintenance is my key, and pleasure

Birds visit each day, bees, butterflies and moths
they pollinate, make good company, my haven
designed for them and me. A place to sit
a rest a while with my friends and family

Hanging baskets now adorn the walls, blooms
trail and grow upright too, wish I’d done before
No annuals, just self seed, or grow from year to year
my own sweetest fruit and vegetables a
re cropped

Published in Wood Workers of The World Unite


The Path We Take

I started out full of hope
travel, people, cuisines
adventure and experiences

I never lacked male company
men were falling for me
I could not see it

you wooed me, manipulating
I tried to resist that, stay myself
you were a bully, I didn’t see

until too late, although
I wept with joy at our wedding
my love was too blind

you wanted me to be happy
it’s true, but your seed made
a child inside me, a life

I nurtured, but you made war
the conflict was too much
you made holes in my soul

or fitted in the ones already there
poison spilled in as I chose my child
not you, who never honored me

you undermined until the hole
swallowed me, finding I was hiding
cash to make an escape

when I told you to go you blamed me
for your past, I never realised
I would pay for it too

take your past, your disrespect, your blame
it is not mine, though I fought your battle
no more, no more, no more

I will walk alone rather than with you
who mocks, disrespects, has no regard
alone is far richer, more peaceful

I choose it over you, who destroyed
my self belief, my confidence, my being
peace is mine now, joy comes my way

Published in Contemplate



Day by day

From our birth

Learn to touch

Want to smile

And we laugh

So we grow

World expands

See the sky

Why what how

Start to ask

And we trust

Won’t you shout out loud with me

Why is that, what’s it do

How do you know it’s true

We feel pain

Someone hurts

It’s unfair

We see life


No more trust

So won’t you scream out loud with me

Why is this world unfair

Why are there rich and poor

Why are some crushed when I am free

We want change

We want light


So just please shout out loud with me

Let’s revolutionize how it works

Let us all be free

No more poverty

So come and scream with me

Give us equality

We bring peace

Published in Comtemplate


Carolyn Riker – The Beauty Of Aging and What It teaches US

A guest blog

Today if you do one thing remember to breathe deeply into those spaces that have caused so much hurt and exhale through to the other side where a bird might be perched. Or the moon might be resting ever so quietly on a fence.

Today if you do one thing, think about who you are right now, and who you were one year ago. Five years ago. Ten years ago. 15 years ago.

Take all the time you need. Go slow. Breathe belly deep. Then jot down a feel, a word, a few sentences for each. Tuck this note inside your heart.

Let the waves of yesteryears wash through to this moment. What you’ve learned and understand, are often the mistakes that teach us the most.

Please be aware, this fabricated, societal notion of perfection is a fallacy. Like filtered portraits that wash away the blemishes and wrinkles to instill an eternal youth. Which also removes the learning we went through.

And yet, here we are. Side-by-side. Changing up what may feel so far down. Leading us to cherish our oddities, the weight we’ve gained, and the wrinkles we see. These variances are part of our intelligence. Ultimately, we realize our weaknesses are the beauties that grow us real. Aging spells us to the deeper path of our soul.

How beautiful it is and more often necessary to walk inside a night sky watching our eyelashes brushstroke a paradise from the stars in our soul’s knowing eyes.

One of the best things we can do is to honor where we are at. There’s no need to power through when our soul is telling us to go slower. Aging is the beginning to honor ourselves.

Let’s listen to the rivulets. Let’s close our eyes to see what our dreams teach us about our personal soul’s rhythm.

There we will discover the valleys are equally if not more valid to the marrow which sustains us. We reevaluate the older paradigms telling us otherwise.

We honor who we are.

This shows self-respect and creates fresh boundaries into a most tender form of self-love and a welcoming alibi.

Carolyn Riker is the author of three beautiful books of poetry and prose. She’s also a licensed mental health therapist in private practice. Her books are available on Amazon.


Trying to relax…

Moths over Las Vegas

Paramedics have just left. I feel buzzed by the nebuliser. I had two. Salbutamol and and another which has a name I don’t recall. They hadn’t encountered me before and her wish to convey me to A&E was making some of my symptoms worse.

They were both kind, though and she relaxed a bit. That helped me. Now I just need to relax so I can sleep.

I had actually delayed phoning for paramedics all afternoon. But I realised that I would not be able to sleep.



A poem of sadness

I have sought you out this day
wishing to read your sage speaking
you are no longer here, and sadness
envelopes me. Why are you gone?

Sadness shrouds me, bereft I write
but realize I can’t send it to you
oh, why did I not know you would go?
Tears spring, that we haven’t met

We’ve shared a writing space,
admired and confided, vanish seems
puzzling, bewildered, bereaved
farewell, wherever you be, fare well.

Published in The Lark