Yesterday, I went back to Southampton. I chose to go in a car this time. It was a high vehicle and I hurt my ribs as I got in. I could have done with pain relief, as the pain stayed until I went to sleep last night.
I have a superating wound under my ribs on my left side. My ribs hurt as high up as my underarm all day, every day.
I saw a very pleasant physio who showed me how to to use a machine that first forces air into my lungs and then sucks air out. The idea is to remove phlegm, as I am unable to cough.
It was extremely tiring. I asked that any future appointments be earlier in the day. I tire so quickly.
I spent this morning in a state of shock. After going to bed at 7.20pm last night, I woke feeling almost in shock. I strangely couldn’t remember where my stairs are.
I drank lots as I had been dehydrated. I woke twice in the night and drank. I know I would feel better if I took a shower, but I feel too tired.
I feel so trapped in this body. I don’t want to be in it anymore.
Writer and psychologist. My health, a journey with two life shortening diseases 
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