I feel so blessed…

I have found the someone described in this meme. Or rather, they found me. My life is so much easier now. Fewer concerns, less worry, more rest.


And so the whispering goes on…

Found this on Facebook

So, because I made an error and had to leave Medium, and went back for a new start the Diana whispers a campaign against me. Not satisfied to create a fake account here and then delete it, she whispers against me. I don’t care. She doesn’t matter on iota. She blocked me before for ridiculous reasons which are frowned upon by Medium, anyone else who blocks me because of her is not worth my time or care.

I am kind, I generous, empathetic, and compassionate. I have a man here who thinks I am the sun and moon. My daughter and other family love me. That is what matters to me.


I know who the troll claims to be…..

Picture found on LinkedIn

So the troll is someone who uses the name Diana C, and says she is from central Europe. Except she is not in central Europe. It seems she is probably in the Netherlands. She is dangerous as she misleads people, calling what damaged her to be her personality. She writes about her shadow work but doesn’t even know what that is. She has a publication and accepts articles that are full of nonsense. She is dangerous. And so are the people with whom she is close. Of course, hurt people attract hurt people. Hurt people hurt people.


Someone is trolling me here…

Someone is trolling this blog. Why do trolls exist? What makes them want to troll? Deleted accounts liked a post. I am no one special. I am simply a writer keeping a blog about my health. I sometimes post my published poetry.

I woke at 5.30 and felt fine, I dozed for a while and then slept until 8.30am. I felt low. One of my painkillers makes me need to wee more frequently. I thought it was the nerve damage and CO2 retention. Now I know it is this painkiller causing relaxation of my muscles.

I am so grateful that I have this lovely man looking after me. He lifts so much load from my shoulders.


The birthday of a missed friend….

Today is the birthday of Aine MacAoda, my poet friend who passed away last August. Seeing the reminder, made me sad and reminded me of how much she meant to me.

We were bonded by the Omagh bombing and the birth of my daughter. My daughter and I are having a difference of opinion, and I feel distressed that we cannot get to common ground.

It all swirls together and becomes an emotional mess. I must act with compassion which is not always what people think it is. Compassion is doing the right thing. Not pandering and becoming a doormat to be walked on. Compassion is solving the problem for someone, at times it can be confrontational.

Even so, I am distressed and must look for joy in this day.


Last night was weird…

Late yesterday afternoon, I decided to take a bath. I was feeling tired mentally and felt it might refresh me.

I felt almost unable to get undressed. That seemed to exhaust me. I enjoyed cleansing my body, though and got rid of the last few cut hairs after my hair appointment. My hair does look great. I take my hat off to my new hairdresser. She is very very good.

Out of the bath, I couldn’t decide what to wear to bed and my breathing was noisy although I felt I was suffocating. I felt like I was barely here. I can’t explain it.

I felt nervous about going to sleep. I felt I would not wake up. Then I stayed up too long and could not sleep. I fell to sleep around 3-4am and was woken by my phone. My friend in Malaysia had got the time difference wrong. It was 5.55am. I managed to drift back to sleep, that half-waking and sleeping which I really love. The radio was on and I enjoyed what I heard.

I have written today and feel like I have done a lot, except I haven’t really apart from enjoying the afternoon.

My breathing remains noisy and very shallow. I had a CT scan on Friday. It went ok.

I felt appreciated today. I’m grateful for that. The light in the afternoon is markedly longer now. Soon the sun will reach the back garden. There are shoots coming up, daffodils, and snowdrops. Such a thrill.


We Need More Trees

The planet is dying

Photo by Irina Iriser on Unsplash

For the last ten years or so, I have been planting trees. I love trees. I have planted six in my somewhat small garden, which is crammed with plants of all sorts that are good for pollinators and all critters that are part of the ecology. It is a cycle of budding, blooming, growing, ending, decaying, and rebirth in budding, blooming and so on.

Trees put down deep roots. They must be planted carefully when they are dormant, with lots of water so the roots can spread easily into the soil, and find their way deeper and horizontally. Trees communicate with each other through under the soil fungi. Trees know best where to grow, but I did not know this until a few days ago. However, my trees communicate.

Every plant in my garden is native with one exception. My fig tree is not native but I love the fruit and the leaves so I planted a sapling. The summer of 2020, I had thirteen figs. They ripened every two or three days which was very convenient for me. Last summer the tree had unripe fruit for ages, so I threatened the life of the tree and three weeks later the figs began to ripen. One and two at a time, and then more than I could cope with so I gave my friends and neighbors figs.

Now I have started the process of registering my garden as organic, as no chemical has touched it since I lived here. I dug out bind weed for four years before it was gone.

I also plant trees through organizations. I am sharing an email here from Tribal Data. They plant trees as you use your cell phone. My phone is not synced to my laptop as I value my downtime, so I may not be planting as many trees as other Tribal Data app users.

So I am inviting you to use the email below. If you want more trees planted around the world.

Dear fellow tree planter,

Thank you so much for taking part in the journey this far and for growing the plantation. We have come a long way since we started in 2019, and we are now at the brink of the next big step in the evolution.

We are raising our long term ambitions and want to give tools and guidance to bring a million of Europeans to net zero emissions.

We have come far in this work, and are now at a stage where your input is critical to make it right.

Would you like to be a part of it?

In practice, this would mean talking with one of our experts for about 15 minutes in the coming weeks, and possibly also responding to some questions. Of course, no preparation required.

Simply push the button below, and we will get in touch!

I want to help!

Thank you again for your incredible support throughout the years.


Thank you for your time.


Feeling grateful…

I feel such gratitude today. I have been listened to by two people. I have someone living with me who loves me. I feel cared for.

The idiot police are held to account. The bewilderment has ended. I have peace now.


Yes, it was the idiot police…

One can tell by the sharp decrease in search engines after my last post.

Fancy wasting time and money by acting on an anonymous note. Like children playing Chinese whispers or musical chairs.


Is it the idiot police?…

I have not posted in weeks and yet each day since my post on 24 12 2021 up to eight search engines have been at my blog. The least is two search engines. Also twitter and Facebook. It must be the idiot police in my town. Or the malicious note writer.

Well, I am fine. I know you waste taxpayers’ money by acting on a anonymous note which mentioned me. That you could have asked me if I had had a problem, I could have told you no. That would have cost you one phone call. But you prefer to waste police time and money.


Read this…