Missing You

A poem

Photo by David Hofmann on Unsplash

Words fail to describe my heartache, my pain
it was a physical shock when you cut me dead
my left shoulder will never feel the same
since my body recoiled, screaming your name

The lies you tell, the fiction you shouted at me
for four years, killing me literally with your words
A Polish man saved my life, but again your onslaught
the hurt in my shoulder remains and will not go

Flesh of my flesh, I know you so well, my mind
drifts to memories, so many, a lifetime of them
disbelief, shock, hurt, forgiveness, anger, love
so many feelings conflict, still adoration for you

Admiration for your gifts, the talents I nurtured
watching you run, dance, swim, loving what you do
self-efficacy I taught you, truly beautiful to behold
so many times that what you were told, so I said it

must dwell inside, and it did, does, I hurt too much
I could drown in this ache, suffocate in your shouts
of abuse, all fiction, all lies, 
your years are written
in my file,
 evidence of your fibs, your made-up truth

Yet tomorrow I would embrace you so tightly
you are written on my heart, a lunar pull to you
speechless I would comfort you still more
Bone of my bone, light of my life, you carry my heart

Published in The Lark

By Chrisssie Morris Brady

I've read poetry since I was nine and have written creatively since I was fourteen (probably long before that). After writing book reviews and social comment, I decided I wanted to write poetry. I have no formal training, but I surround myself with poets and their writing. I am honing my craft.
I have two published collections which I don't feel good about, but have been published by and other publications. I live on the south coast of England with my daughter. I am seriously ill.

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