Children are told that if they tell anyone that someone they have trusted has touched them in a way that has made them feel uncomfortable or ‘dirty’ something bad will happen to them. This is because the abuser feels shame and knows that what they did was immoral, shameful, and illegal.The abuser breaches all trust with society, children, the children’s parents and the law.When a child is touched inappropriately or made to do things which they know are not normal, the abuser’s shame is imputed to that child. In other words, the shame is transferred to the child who has done nothing wrong. The abuser feels power, not just over the violated child, but over society in general because they have broken a trust that can never be mended, a trust that holds together our families and communities.Children who are violated in this way already feel that there must be something ‘wrong’ with them for the abuse to be happening in the first place. To be told that terrible things will happen if they tell anyone compounds this feeling, and the transference of shame takes place. They feel powerless and so the abuse is able to take place over long periods of time.Sometimes a child does have the courage to say something to a parent but they are not believed because that parent thinks they know the abuser well and cannot believe they would do such a thing. This is further shame for the child. They aren’t believed when they are telling the truth. Or that parent might know that abuse is going on, but because they cannot put their child first, they live in denial and pretend it is not happening. Often that parent is torn between their child and the abuser, but children must always be put first. A child is more important than any other relationship.If you are someone who experienced sexual or physical abuse in childhood, you are not to blame. You are innocent. You are free from shame. It is not your fault.
After the golden haired girl had run away
after intruding and breaking furniture,
Papa Bear carefully fixed the bed and chair.
Mama Bear served fresh hot porridge.
Baby Bear sadly said, “It won’t be the same.”
So they all had a think and then Papa Bear
took his family to town to buy new locks.
Instead, they came home with a Golden Retriever.
YANGON — As many as 69 members of what Myanmar’s government has described as a Rohingya Muslim militant group and 17 security forces have been killed in a recent escalation of fighting in northwestern Rakhine State, the army said on Tuesday.
The death toll, announced in the state-owned Global New Light of Myanmar daily, exceeded that reported by state media over the weekend, demonstrating the scale of the largest escalation of the conflict since violence erupted a month ago.
Diplomats and observers have held out hope that the military will swiftly conclude its “clearance operation” in the troubled north of Rakhine, but the recent wave of killings has cast a doubt over such prospects.
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Last week I had been experiencing a dull, heavy, ache in my chest. I hate going to the doctor about stuff like this, it means tests at the hospital which is so difficult for me to access.
On Friday even the pain came again. I watched a movie to try to distract myself and let it pass. It did not. I could not lie down, and had to keep sitting up. I began to be short of breath. Eventually, I decided I needed to call an ambulance.
They spent an hour in my home asking questions, testing my blood sugars, taking my blood pressure etc.
Then they asked if I would be OK to walk to the ambulance which was right outside my door. Except I had to stand, hanging on to one of the paramedics while they lowered the ‘ramp’. I ended up bending over in a lot of pain and completely breathless. They gave me GNT and aspirin, which really helped.
I had to have three ECGs, timed over a certain period, and an X-ray. I don’t remember having so much blood taken before. I don’t let my blood go easily. A vein was blown in my hand. It is full of pretty colours now.
They found nothing. But I will ask if I can have GNT on prescription. I don’t want more trips to A&E.