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International Women’s Day…

We need to celebrate women everywhere, in whatever role they have. So much falls on women simply because they are women. Childbirth, caring, providing meals, being the parent who wakes in the night for her children, nurturing, the list goes on.

We need more women in leadership roles. They create spaces that men don’t think about. I am not going to be negative about men here, I just want to highlight what women bring to our communities.

Compassion – look at Jacinda Ahearne in New Zealand, and Angela Merkel in Germany. They bring an empathy and softness that few men can achieve.

Creativity – women bring their sense of colours, homemaking, recipes, and all sorts of things that are original and beautiful.

Fairness – women, having been subjugated for so long, are aware of inequalities that are not only explicit but hidden. The extra cost involved for certain needs, the subtle discriminations, the complexity of being a woman in this world where a patriarchy is still at work.

Women have so much to offer the world and already have. They are often not recognised, or are noticed after they are deceased. History is not kind to women because they were seen as inferior and hysterical, not credible, and mostly, not men.

Feminism is a dangerous word. Say it in the wrong place and sparks fly. I have never quantified my feminism. I sit easily in traditional roles if I have a role where I am heard and can contribute to the greater good of a school, a hospital, a town

. I have taken the opportunities to do this and am confident that I have made positive contributions. I still do, despite my health problems, because it matters to me.

Women everywhere need these opportunities. We must encourage it and foster them in any way we can.

I support women in my roles, I also support men. There is no conflict in doing that. I like men, but now and then they need some self-awareness courses, even if it’s a short conversation.

I have self-awareness, but lack a criminal mind. I have had neighbours who caused me physical pain with high pitched wind chimes, and refused any request to move them away from my windows. They abused a frail, elderly woman when she asked that they stop cutting back bird cover in the nesting season, and for some inexplicable reason pinned their gates open illegally, and hammered nails around the drop bolt in an attempt to stop me closing their gate so that I could access mine.

If people behave so selfishly and stupidly, they will get unwanted attention. If that attention makes them decide to move, it is entirely their fault.

I write this because, as women, we need to not indulge in petty behaviour but nurture friendly communities, closer connections, and be good neighbours. Women are mainly peacemakers, and bring harmony to places they are in. Of course, there are exceptions…

I believe that if more women were involved we could end the carbon footprints on this planet much sooner. We would end wars more quickly, we would not waste money on nuclear arms, we would nurture human rights all over the world. We would not hoard vaccines but share them out, we would not make knee jerk reactions but see a bigger picture.

Women can make this world a far better place. I know it, I believe it.

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I am better!…and The Freeze

Since I realised it was the heating that was aggravating my neurolgical disease, I turned the heating down by one degree. That has made a huge difference.

I woke this morning and felt well. I revelled in it. I am still feeling well. It’s hard to think I thought I was fighting a fever, and thought I might need hospital.

Finally, I am feeling well and have no worries. I wish I had realised about the heating andmy neurological disease sooner. I do keep the heating low…

The Freeze

The freeze is here, coating trees with white
kissing ponds with icy lips
nipping the tender plants

Yet buds are showing, nature confused
figs are ripe, out of season
the gases industries release

Our breath is clear to see, like smoke
air cracks with cold, snow thunder
buds attempt to bloom

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Some sleep…

I finally got sleep. I admit that I drank some wine with my dinner which helped but it was good sleep. I feel better for it.

The storm is gone and this morning I heard birds singing in my garden for the first time in nine months. I also heard the wind chimes nextdoor. I hear them all the time.

Today I acquired an acupressure pen. You touch it to areas where you get pain. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I have to say that my pain is much less since I started meditating on it.

Yes, we had our fourth storm in a row. Everywhere is underwater. The wind was growling around my cottage. I still need to plant my plants.

There is still no building going on opposite. My complaint is at it’s second stage.

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The first of Advent…thinking about resolutions

The first of Advent has significance for me, it marks a time of contemplation. The view from my window right now is amazing. The sunlight is glowing beneath a dark cloud, and below the glow is the castle on the island and the peninsular which flashes lights at night, and the chain ferry is visible. Then the greenish hue of the harbour itself…

So I thought I would talk about New Year resolutions, before you start to think about making any. The problem with a resolution on it’s own, is that you set yourself up to fail.

If you are someone who believes in making them, and I am not, think back to how many succeeded. Probably not many. This is because they need to anchored in a behaviour.

If you read my post on losing weight, you will know it is easiest when it is achieved through a change of behaviour. For me, then, a resolution will only succeed in the same way. You may decide to give up smoking, or to write and send more birthday cards. Simply deciding is usually not enough.

If you want to write more birthday cards, it’s a good idea to buy a calendar or diary and write in the birthdays. There are even birthday diary stationary sets that help you.

Giving up smoking, on the other hand, can be the hardest thing to do. It’s much easier to give up with someone else. Or to start walking briskly and notice how quickly your lungs clear and you can walk further without getting out of breath. The first four days are the hardest, and after twelve weeks your lungs will be as if you had never smoked.

If you are giving up smoking, you will need to find something to do with your hands. A stress ball, or a piece of wood to whittle etc. It is often the physical ritual around smoking that is hardest to give up.

More commonly, we make decisions in a time of crisis. When my parents and then my sister died, I found great comfort in sympathy cards. Now I always keep a card in the house. These are the sorts of things that make us better people, kinder, more authentic.

From our wounds we can emerge softer and sweeter. It means we remain vulnerable to be hurt, but that is far better than being bitter and angry.