A hard day…

My neighbours are a family with three teenagers. l.

I had a long chat with the younger boy, whom I bumped into. He is delightful, very well mannered and happy to chat with an adult. How refreshing. He gave me the rundown on his family.

I have lost my good scissors in the garden (I think). I picked them up in order to trim some old stems so that new ones could grow. But I went to plant a clematis from my daughter and changed my mind about the location. So after it was planted I no longer had scissors in my hand so went back to the original place I wanted to put the clematis. Not there.

I retraced all my steps but not found them.

My garden looks great. Everything is growing or blooming or both. I’m so happy about it.

This morning I reported the scaffolders to the HSE. I hit my ankle bone against a pole while trying to get out.

That’s my head and my ankle now. I phoned the company and the work isn’t even finished yet!!!!! The scaffolding has been up since January. I am irate.

Then a phone call from an idiotic police call handler about an incident I reported. What she told me was ridiculous and absurd.

A fellow writer emailed me and said she wished she could live next door to me. It gave me tears.

My thigh is swollen because my femural nerve is stressed. I don’t know why this has suddenly happened. It’s now only slightly painful. A while ago it was extremely painful during the night, but at the time I thought I had dreamed it.

This morning I woke and listened to birdsong. Wonderful. And I hear the blackbird perched outside my window now.


It’s cold again…

Today has been a better day. A friend I see maybe four times a year messaged me to see how I was doing with the self isolation. I was really appreciative as our last messaging was slightly tense. I told her my appreciation,,

Tomorrow I will visit my friends who had their baby a week ago. I am looking forward to this. babies always bring joy. My poor friend started a slow labour on the Friday, but her waters did not break until the Monday morning. She was already exhausted but fortunately had an active labour of only four hours.

I took a while to get to sleep last night but then slept well. I had opened my window earlier. The fresh, sea air is good for sleep.

Today was cooler, which spoilt my plans. I had asked my cleaner to plant the plants that have been sitting on my patio for quite a while. I went to release some ladybirds and saw that some remained unplanted. I was breathless so came in to rest and went back to plant them and water them in.

My garden is full of spring. There are flower buds on my greengage tree, and my birch and fig tree have leaf buds. I saw that finally one of my bird feeders is almost empty so I shall fill it tomorrow. This brings me so much joy.

It is wonderful to be in my garden without the horrible noise of the windchimes. I had almost forgotten what peace is.

My planned poetry events are cancelled due to the corona virus. It’s a relief, as I won’t have the dilemma of deciding whether to go or not.

I do want to see my godmother. I have friends I’d like to see.

Have any of you got to self-isolate? I’d love to hear how you are coping with it.


So tired…

I woke this morning feeling quite achey and physically tired. I’m not sure why. Maybe my body telling me to rest. So I’ve rested and slept.

I written a letter to the local newspaper about the windchimes. I asked if anyone could provide a solution.

I have submitted some poetry to a publisher I admire, I’ve had notification that a poem will be published in December, and I’m gathering poems a the courage to enter a poetry competition.

My breathing remains good, I have a lot of nerve pain currently. A lot is due to the windchimes. It is a mini hell. I’m doing my best to not think about it, and to live joyfully. That’s hard when I’m screaming in pain.

I can hear birds singing, and that gives me such pleasure.


My neighbours…

My current neighbours are the worst I’ve ever had, they moved in this March and they have already upset the sheltered housing community that is behind my garden.

They cut back all the bird cover and now no birds come into my garden. My bird feeders are still full after two weeks – they used to be empty after a few hours. I’m heartbroken. I have strived to make my garden a haven for birds and bees, butterflies, and other insects.

They also hung windchimes, which are so high pitched that they cause my damaged nervous system agony. I have to live in my bedroom, as that’s the only place I normally don’t hear them. I had headache for two weeks, my neck hurts with nerve pain. My arms and legs twitch with nerve pain. I take painkillers every day, even though they don’t work. When I go out my back door, I cry out in pain. I can’t enjoy my home or garden.

Quay Living, their letting agent, couldn’t care less. Or my neighbours, They have been written to by the council and refuse to move them. I don’t understand such an attitude at all. I once hung bamboo windchimes but where there were no windows, so that my neighbours weren’t affected. My choices shouldn’t affect others.

What are your neighbours like?


A happy morning, after anxiety…

Having needed to be nebulised yesterday, I did not get a lot of sleep as I was so wired. Strung out as those who use drugs for recreational purposes might say.

Sam came, she is helping me finish the reducing, recycling and repurposing that I started with such gusto in January. I really impressed myself. My bed is pulled away from the wall, so I’m having to reach back for my drinks, lamp etc, but I’m just so happy to see progress that it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m so grateful for Sam, she is a treasure found unexpectedly, serendipity, and I love her to bits. She accommodates my sudden request to put moisturising lotion on my legs and arms, she will quickly fill my water bottle for me, and move this to there and that to here.

This enabled me to fill the bird feeder before I went for some groceries. I came home to find the garden filled with birds. I’m thrilled.

I have realised I cannot make my neighbours who have caused so much nuisance by fixing their gates open, by means of criminal damage, go away, and in order to keep my breathing going well I must simply tune them out. My chest got tight in the garden yesterday but improved as I went toward the doctor’s and so I returned home to finish my planting only to get tight again because of the noise suddenly coming from the neighbours’ garden. I cannot let this affect my health. I need to make myself oblivious to them and remain calm if their gates impinge on my freedom to use my own.

Any ideas on how to do this? Input please… I’ve always been aware of my surroundings . I’m not someone who lives in their little own world…so ideas please.


For the birds…

I have had a headache for most of this day. I am having trouble sleeping and some decided to visit me late the other evening and as a result I only got three hours sleep at the most. Lat night I didn’t sleep well as usual, so I just went out briefly to get a tiny pot of paint and fresh air.

Coming back, my neighbours’ gates were open and I saw their vine had been brutally cut back. I am so angry! It’s nesting time! That vine is cover to some many birds and many nests get built there every spring. I feel violated in my own person! The joy I take in watching those birds, because they come into my garden to feed and get water. I am growing honeysuckle, clematis and jasmine but they are not yet mature enough to provide cover. I’ve bought a rambling rose to keep a wretched cat away. In the meantime, I’ve laid holly branches to stop the cat coming in and it’s working.

Why do people not realise that we live on this planet to tend it, not destroy it? Aren’t we experiencing enough extraordinary weather events, without destroying the natural habitats in our stewardship? Governments are destroying vast ecosystems with their decisions on insecticides and palm oil etc, but we can choose to make the space that is ours a kind place. I get angry when people turn their front gardens into car parks, and I was devastated when I had to gravel over my flowerbed because I could not manage it. But I have compensated by planting trees, and making a patio pot garden. I now have a plethora of plants beginning to blossom and thrive. I have plants waiting to be planted… I love gardening, seeing bees buzzing around, birds nesting and teaching their young to fly.

Some neighbours across the road must have been told to stop feeding seagulls after a pair nested on the roof last year. It was a nightmare. No one could go in my garden without a broom to ward them off. We were attacked repeatedly. I was terrified my dog would be bitten. And of course, the garden birds were frightened. This year I have heard more birdsong than any other year I have lived here. It’s so nourishing to the soul, so life affirming, and make tending my garden even more pleasurable. Matthew and Chrisii have been helping sometimes, especially with putting up trellises. They are friends I made in the dark, dark time after my sister and dog died. When I was so bereft, and more so because a vicar I’d known for 20 years interfered with her death and broke all trust between us, so that was another loss. So many losses last autumn, friends messing on the internet with my confidences so trust broken, bitchy texts from my former neighbour who went on to lie to the police, the council and my lover about me. I made a mistake, my friend made it worse and my apology was rejected. But I am grateful for the real friends who have come into my life.

They are like a garden too. They need tending and they give a lot back.