I was taken to hospital last week…

Last Wednesday morning I used my nebuliser and afterwards my throat was full of liquid that I am unable to cough up. I dialled 111 (a useless service) and an ambulance came for me.

I spent six hours in A&E, which I could only tolerate because I took 2 tablets that I take at night.

The doctor was wonderful. She had never seen such a complex medical situation. She was kind, nebulised me with saline and recommended a med which breaks down the secretions in the lungs.

My new meds arrived this morning. It was lovely to nebulise without having a dry mouth afterwards. The tablets will take more time to see the effect.

I hated being in the ED. It is so hostile to my neurological disease.


After great weather it cooled…

The weather over the weekend was so good. I enjoyed it, although my symptoms are still in overdrive.

Martin woke me really early this morning. He had found the instructions that we needed . I felt so bewildered. He lengthened my day of discomfort by an hour at least. He said I wake him, but he has a tremendous ability to sleep well.

I finally got to speak with a doctor. I had to phone the surgery again. It was torture. I didn’t hear the advice I was given yesterday because of the distress I experienced by calling.

I am relieved that I had a long nap this afternoon. I would not be coping otherwise. Sleep is like gold to me. I need it to have relief from my body as well as to refresh my mind.


The weather…

It is pouring with rain and feels like 2C. That’s just above freezing.

I have wanted to visit neighbour. On Saturday evening there was a frenzied rapping at my door. It was a doctor looking for Amanda. Not here. As I resumed my sofa, it dawned on me that Amanda lives at 9. I went to the door and called out to the doctor to go to number 9.

I wanted to drop in today to see if she was ok, and if they need anything. It’s a bit too much to walk and if I use the trolley, I will get soaked. I hope the weather will be drier tomorrow.

I have met resistance again in the same locality with the campaign. I will not post there again. Everywhere else is on board, though some feel it’s too late. But this is to the PM, and I tell them I have written to him. This garners some signatures.

My writing is getting more read on medium. It feels good.


A New Year, just the next day…

I have put some time between new year’s eve and now, or rather, God has. I am still not relaxed, but I am doing better than I was.

Thank you to those who have expressed concern and care. I will respond when I feel able.

I woke this morning at 5.15 and knew that sleep would not return to me. I wrote a complaint to the hospital about Dr Davies. You know, I have noticed that surgeons generally have consistently more compassion than doctors. I think there is something about seeing a patient vulnerable, lying on the gurney, that makes them feel something that some doctors don’t become capable of. So far, I have not encountered a surgeon who was lacking human warmth. I realise now, I’ve only encountered two surgeons, but my first, the Professor, who is sadly now deceased, had a team of registrars and junior doctors who were all lovely. Wait, I think there may be a third, the guy who diagnosed me, but I was too ill to notice.

So, my complaint – I told how I was only asked about now. I was not asked any of my history. This was a first. Dr Davies was entirely uninterested in how my respiratory problems started. Or how it was at the beginning. He was only interested in right now. That is strange. And he wants me to have tests that will cause me pain and distress. I am not about to have a baby. No this is the twenty first century. I can have tests without pain and distress. Medicine has progressed that far.

In my complaint, I also mentioned my state of mind when leaving the hospital and when I got home. I cannot allow anyone else to go through what I went through. I have a role within the local NHS Foundation Trust. I need to fulfil that role. I’m firstly human. I have a duty to other humans.

I haven’t yet attempted to approach my daughter. It is too soon. I have messaged her boyfriend, and asked him to google two of the medicines I need, because their side effects are costing me my identity as me. I can become a argumentative person if someone gets under my skin. It doesn’t happen often, but it has happened most with my daughter. Because we are close.

So, I am not yet physically at peace, but my mind is getting there.


Do you have insomnia?

First of all, I need to say that if anyone has been contacting Quay Living because of sympathy for me due to the wind chimes, please stop. Thank you.

We are all different in our sleep patterns, though generally we are forced to conform to a rhythm that suits the work place, school, our children. Few people know what sleep depravation is until their first baby arrives. That is a real game changer.

We tend to fall into two categories, famously known as the owls and the larks. I am naturally an owl, but at times my baby, or my work, forced me to become a lark. We are able to adapt from our preference. I must say that I have always loved early mornings when I had them. The light is special, the dew, the last stars etc. Being up before anyone else is a very peaceful time, when one’s mind is alert.

Insomnia is the inability to get to sleep over a sustained period of time. It can become an interference with work, study, relationships, and just enjoying life. What is important, is that an established bedtime routine is in place, preferably from very early childhood. This tells the brain that sleep is needed and desired.

It’s not always clear what causes the inability to get to sleep. Often it is after bereavement, divorce or loss of a relationship, a change in location, newly noisy neighbours, or stress.

There are may theories about curing insomnia, and I don’t subscribe to any particular ones, but here are some that might help.

Eat some food When your stomach is full, your blood rushes there and you are likely to become relaxed and fall asleep. Doctors generally don’t like this idea, but I know many health professionals that employ it and it works for me.

Make your cover heavier or lighter You can be not warm enough without realising it. Adding a layer to your bed covers may well help you sleep. And the reverse is true.

Have a milky drink Milk contains tryptophan which induces sleepiness. It also fills ones tummy.

Inhale deeply and slowly repeatedly This is a remedy for tension caused by stress, and relaxes the body. One can do this at any time that one feels anxious or tense. It is a good habit as part of stress relief.

Do mental arithmetic This may sound counter-intuitive, but the boredom of doing times tables can send one to sleep. It is also good for tuning out pain, and useful for men who need to delay ejaculation during sex.

Play soft music Music that is soothing can really help one to sleep.

Get up and start over Some people find this helpful. Leave the bedroom, do a task and then go back to bed. I’ve heard it works.

If you have tried some or all of these, and you still cannot sleep easily, or relatively easily, please see your doctor. There may be clues in your medical history, but a chat may reveal a niggle on your mind that you hadn’t thought of or had ignored.

Things that cause insomnia are, worries, a bad conscience, a trauma, nightmares, bad neighbours, and anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, physically or mentally.