Today could have been so different…

Someone arranged to meet me today. I spent a while thinking about cancelling. Then I realised it would do me the world of good to get out in the sunshine, and I could get groceries afterwards.

We outside in the sunshine. It was so mild. We talked for ages. Then we parted company and I went to the market.

I felt good when I got home. My friend has plans for meeting again. I need this so much. Many of my friends are too afraid of the pandemic to go anywhere, which frustrates me.

I have been writing. I feel quite happy with my life. I may have someone staying here for a short while as they need to sort some issues out. If this happens, I shall enjoy it.

The autumn sun is good on my skin, even though less of it is exposed.

I picked all the unripened figs from the tree. I looked up what to do about them. When I came home, I found more flowers in bloom in the garden. I am pleased.

Someone tried to hurt me…

So, following on from yesterday’s post, I’ve had a fairly good day.

I bumped into a former neighbour, we were so pleased to see each other. He used to come to the door in the evening to ask me to put milk in his cup of tea. I would give him a jug of milk so he could have breakfast. We played catch across the garden in between each of ours, he tuned in my TV and took my daughter to the beach. He will visit soon.

So, an emoji was left by Michael Ebsworth on one of my poems. I could have left it there for him to see his name. I was shocked. He’s so private, but now I have his apple ID and his IP address. It hurt. I do and don’t want to hear from him. I do not want to be toyed with.

I’m so glad that when I came home I felt good.

Both my neighbours and after the fall…

I found a graze on my shin yesterday which is mysterious but obviously due to my fall on Wednesday evening. Today there is a mild bruise…

I did wake during Wednesday night and hurt in a few places but it was all gone in the morning.

More of my tomatoes are turning colour now. From orange to almost red. It’s really satisfying. I need to pick my strawberries. They will be sweet and juicy.

You know, the other neighbouring house is also a let. I have never had a problem with them. It’s owned by an acquaintance of mine who owns a well known restaurant on the Quay. He is considerate and kind. While his friend was renovating it, I was asked if there was too much much noise. And I was shown progress as it became a lovely home.

He cares about community and the neighbourhood. That makes all the difference. The other side could not care less. And that is where they fail.

I bumped into a friend today. We chatted and then he kissed my cheek. I was touched.

I have cannibalised two watches. For ages I have wanted a purple watch face with a chrome bracelet. I have hunted every where. Finally I bought a purple watch that had a purple strap and had a chrome bracelet put on it. And so I have it! And it is unique.

An odd day in all. But ok.

Strange headache…

I awoke with a headache at 5.30 am. This is not usual, so I dozed. The headache did not go so I had to cancel with a friend. This was a bit of a blow as I haven’t seen her for ages. I rested and drank plenty and began to feel better by lunch time.

My cleaner has had to swap to tomorrow as he had a job he needed to finish. It’s made me feel oddly discombobulated. With lockdown Mondays have been my only fixed point in the week. Zoom meetings are fortnightly with others that I choose to join dotted in between.

I have already watered the garden. It was a bit early, but it has not been hot and we have had rain. I have more strawberries on the way, but am sad to see the rose for my sister bruised by the rain. My tomato plants are hanging in there until Pete can help me tomorrow. They need stronger stakes.

This morning I kept jumping when the builders started. I did feel very fragile at the time.

I took a watch bracelet to have a purple watch face put on it. I had discussed it before lockdown, but as I started shielding on the 6 March this was my first chance to take it in. The mall seems more scary now than before the pandemic. It seems half lit and there are arrows everywhere which people seem to ignore.

I do still feel a bit not quite myself though. I have drunk plenty and eaten fairly well. I’ve lost a little bit of weight in the last two weeks as my watch is a bit loose. I shall treat myself to something tomorrow. Maybe two things and maybe bake a cake.

I wonder if M has rearranged his flat? It can’t be nice to have one’s home on public display especially as some of it belongs to H jointly. It’s hard to believe some of what he has done.

I thought of my Dad so much yesterday. I used to take him out and give him a present. Often something he needed but the colours he liked. Or a natural history book – birds, or trees. I can’t believe there are people who throw away their Dad for an alcoholic.

I’m looking forward to bed tonight. I want to sleep away this fragile feeling.

Serendipity…

I woke very early this morning. It was still stormy so I went back to sleep and then luxuriated in my lovely bed reading.

Last night, when I went to finish painting the gate, I found that the paint tin was empty save for dregs and rainwater. I sloshed some on, knowing it would not give a layer but every little helps. Today I can see where it went, and will apply more.

I am waiting for a wooden swing seat. I think I will paint that the same colour to protect it from the weather. I may wait until it arrives before I finish the gates.

My tomato plants were again drooping because of the wind and rain. I have trimmed a lot of leaves away to make them less top heavy. Tomorrow Pete will be here to help me secure them to a broom handle which will be more substantial. All the tomatoes are there just getting riper.

Today I went to the health food store. It is never full at any one time. I went to pay and my debit card was declined. What? I looked at it and realised that it was my old one. But I had cut it up! No, it seemed I had cut my new card…

The young woman is really friendly, and I paid for what I could with cash. That I had my NHS discount helped. We laughed about my absent mindedness, she kept the rest for me, and I came home feeling dismayed at the inconvenience.

I started writing and wanted my scissors. Looking around for them, I spotted my new, cut in two card lying beside my waste paper basket.

I went back to the shop, and we tried my cut up card as contactless. No good. The young woman suggested I inserted the half that goes in the whatsit. It worked!

So I have some cash, my goods, and had a giggle and also saw a friend which was great.

The day has been breezy, but now there is blue sky everywhere.

I am pleased that one of my poems Walthamstow is included in an anthology. I will update when I can. Half of the profits will go to NHS charities and half to BLM. This is a plus.

A strange sort of day…

It’s been an odd day. I slept a bit long..as I have every morning since sleep came my way. I looked at all my notifications, emails, etc.

A friend sent me a text inviting me for a cup of tea. She is only round the corner. She’s been sorting stuff out in her flat, and yesterday I urged her to clear up the mess before it gets her mood low.

It was just as bad, and I find it hard to feel at peace sitting in a mess. Her feet are much worse than yesterday. More swollen and the skin darker. I’m trying to persuade her to raise her feet. She does it for 5 minutes and starts doing things again.

I left within an hour. I need to write her information to tell her doctor. She told me very spontaneously that I’m so lovely.

This afternoon I’ve been writing. But not really in a relaxed way. I published something to a wrong publication. I republished it to the correct one, and then my phone rang and when I went to delete the erroneously published one, somene had responded to it and deleted it from the correct publication.

Oh, the frustration!!!

So it rained in the night which is great for the garden, but it’s been slightly muggy which affects my breathing.

Other than that I’m ok. A lady named Ginny over the road knocked to say that a parcel was outside my front door. She is very kind.

Recovered but disappointed…

I am no longer exhausted from the respiratory tests I had done. I do feel like I did 100 tummy crunches though. There’s a mild ache in my diaphragm area.

I’ve been supporting some friends of mine who are about to have a baby. She started labour on Friday evening, and progression has been painfully slow. She is exhausted from contractions which are very mild and too far apart. They have visited the Maternity Unit daily since Friday to get pain relief but it doesn’t last for long. I am hoping she will be induced tomorrow, otherwise she will be too exhausted for labour.

My daughter crept into my house this morning and left toilet tissue on the landing. I was so disappointed that she hadn’t let me know she was here as the sleep breathing test I did needs to be returned before 5pm tomorrow. I messaged her and she said she would pick it up. Except she didn’t.

I have had to ask a friend to take it for me. I am devastated. I cannot rely on my own daughter.

I cannot describe how I feel.

Ireland won! again…

I love it when Ireland win. As a team they are so connected, no one player trying too get glory. Johnny Sexton is a great captain, and it shows with two very comfortable wins.

I had an unexpected nap just before the match. The nerve in my thigh made it’s presence known so I lay to meditate and found myself falling asleep. I heard the postman knocking, but hey I was pain free and relaxed. I didn’t answer.

I’ve been reading a lot on medium and started to think I have nothing to offer, but I got rid of that mindset. Really, there is no use in comparing oneself to others. We are all unique.

I roasted some food in the oven, and took one lot out and came upstairs before remembering the other lot. This is what I try to avoid. Anyway, it came out well, after I got my breath back. I need to be more mindful.

If you were reading my blog this time last year, you will know I spend my time being as efficient as possible. Since I started taking a medicine, I don’t need to be as careful but I still find wasted journeys tiring.

Yesterday, I took a birthday card and gift to a friend in my road. She wasn’t there, no car, no dogs barking. I sent a text asking when she would be back. I got a reply timed after 11pm saying ‘back from where?’. This annoyed me. I told her I had gone to her house yadayadayayada and I couldn’t tell her where she had been. I took the gift and card today and left it inside her side gate. I’ve had no response.

Why do people text so late? I don”t mind if it’s a lover, but a friend should know better.

The pain in my thigh stayed away, which is encouraging as meditation is free, and has other benefits too.

Did you see the moon? Still bright tonight, although a storm is moving in.

My heating and some discoveries…

For almost a week now I have felt a chill in my room as I write. I thought the wind had changed direction. Why I would settle for this assumption is beyond me. Why would I just accept such a dumb thought???

On Sunday early evening, I put my hand on the radiator and it was stone cold!

My heating is not working and I let it go for so long! I’ve now phoned the company that services my heating. It should be put right later.

For a while, I have been trying to access my notes on facebook. There are lots of poems in them, but whenever I scroll down I just get a buffering. Today I grew impatient and put in the title of a poem I was looking for in the search bar on my homepage, together with my name and voila! I found lots of my poetry that I had shared in a group after they were published.

Now why didn’t I think of that before? So I was able to send them to a friend I will see tomorrow, who will print them for me.

I feel such pleasure that I have accessed these. I could read from my book, and it will be lighter than carrying lots of printed pages.

So now I am going to make some hot chocolate and have some rosti topped with cheese.