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Recovered but disappointed…

I am no longer exhausted from the respiratory tests I had done. I do feel like I did 100 tummy crunches though. There’s a mild ache in my diaphragm area.

I’ve been supporting some friends of mine who are about to have a baby. She started labour on Friday evening, and progression has been painfully slow. She is exhausted from contractions which are very mild and too far apart. They have visited the Maternity Unit daily since Friday to get pain relief but it doesn’t last for long. I am hoping she will be induced tomorrow, otherwise she will be too exhausted for labour.

My daughter crept into my house this morning and left toilet tissue on the landing. I was so disappointed that she hadn’t let me know she was here as the sleep breathing test I did needs to be returned before 5pm tomorrow. I messaged her and she said she would pick it up. Except she didn’t.

I have had to ask a friend to take it for me. I am devastated. I cannot rely on my own daughter.

I cannot describe how I feel.

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I was like a drowned rat today…

Today I spent a lot of time getting nowhere with anything. Then I went to meet a friend and it started to pour down.

I have had good events on medium.com, and it encourages me to write more.

That’s all for now.

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Ireland won! again…

I love it when Ireland win. As a team they are so connected, no one player trying too get glory. Johnny Sexton is a great captain, and it shows with two very comfortable wins.

I had an unexpected nap just before the match. The nerve in my thigh made it’s presence known so I lay to meditate and found myself falling asleep. I heard the postman knocking, but hey I was pain free and relaxed. I didn’t answer.

I’ve been reading a lot on medium and started to think I have nothing to offer, but I got rid of that mindset. Really, there is no use in comparing oneself to others. We are all unique.

I roasted some food in the oven, and took one lot out and came upstairs before remembering the other lot. This is what I try to avoid. Anyway, it came out well, after I got my breath back. I need to be more mindful.

If you were reading my blog this time last year, you will know I spend my time being as efficient as possible. Since I started taking a medicine, I don’t need to be as careful but I still find wasted journeys tiring.

Yesterday, I took a birthday card and gift to a friend in my road. She wasn’t there, no car, no dogs barking. I sent a text asking when she would be back. I got a reply timed after 11pm saying ‘back from where?’. This annoyed me. I told her I had gone to her house yadayadayayada and I couldn’t tell her where she had been. I took the gift and card today and left it inside her side gate. I’ve had no response.

Why do people text so late? I don”t mind if it’s a lover, but a friend should know better.

The pain in my thigh stayed away, which is encouraging as meditation is free, and has other benefits too.

Did you see the moon? Still bright tonight, although a storm is moving in.

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My heating and some discoveries…

For almost a week now I have felt a chill in my room as I write. I thought the wind had changed direction. Why I would settle for this assumption is beyond me. Why would I just accept such a dumb thought???

On Sunday early evening, I put my hand on the radiator and it was stone cold!

My heating is not working and I let it go for so long! I’ve now phoned the company that services my heating. It should be put right later.

For a while, I have been trying to access my notes on facebook. There are lots of poems in them, but whenever I scroll down I just get a buffering. Today I grew impatient and put in the title of a poem I was looking for in the search bar on my homepage, together with my name and voila! I found lots of my poetry that I had shared in a group after they were published.

Now why didn’t I think of that before? So I was able to send them to a friend I will see tomorrow, who will print them for me.

I feel such pleasure that I have accessed these. I could read from my book, and it will be lighter than carrying lots of printed pages.

So now I am going to make some hot chocolate and have some rosti topped with cheese.

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Bright sunshiny day…

For those of us with no thanksgiving meal, let us give thanks anyway. If you don’t live with gratitude in your heart, you will never know real happiness.

I spent today with a friend who is blind. He is cheerful and good company. We went for a drink, and then had to find grass for his dog. I actually saw a tiny part of my town I have not seen before. I was surprised. Nearby, are the offices of what was Dorset PCT, whom I used to work for but no longer exists. That brought some very happy memories. Part of the NHS.

This is always going to be a hard time of year for me. My mother’s funeral, my Auntie’s death, the aftermath of my sister’s death. My dog’s death. The brief relationship. I don’t think I would say no to him if ever he knocked on my door. But I would point out who he was before he went off with the woman who says he’s a complete idiot. I know more than he realises.

My closest friends, who live just outside Richmond, Virginia, became grandparents for the second time today. Their son, Michael and his wife, Laura, had their first child today – a boy. I’m thrilled for them, as their daughter and her family are working in Jordan. What a great day to be born.

I have been threatened with legal action by a letting agency because a story about how the wind chimes next door made the national press. People have been contacting them. I made my views on this perfectly clear. I am not responsible for an item in the press. And I remain cheerful. That letting agency is the worst I’ve come across.

If you don’t feel grateful, start with being alive. If you feel suicidal, don’t do it. Things can only get better and they will. You see, hear, walk, run, touch. If yu live with hope, you attract good things. Not karma, but what you sow is what you reap. Sow happiness, and you will happiness. Sow kindness, etc.

W all have days when we feel low, but they go. Unless you have depression. We talk about that soon.