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A glorious day…

The weather today was glorious. I slept late. The effect of being a CO2 retainer. I spent time on my swing seat, lounging in the sun. I watered recently planted plants, as well as my window box and that of my neighbours.

This evening was spent with friends which was very pleasant indeed. Very civilised as my Dad would say. Convivial.

A great day.

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Life is fragile…

This morning I opened a WhatsApp message. It came last night as a response to my reply to her initial message, asking how I was.

Her husband, also a friend, has been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease. I was shocked to the core. I’ve known him since he was 14 or younger. He is just a bit younger than me. His brother was my best friend for years.

I responded with all the love I have for them.

Life is not to be taken for granted. Especially our health, family, and friends. Money doesn’t buy happiness. Gratitude does. When we live with gratitude for what we have, the beauty around us, wonderful aromas, the songs of birds, trees, real vanilla ice-cream, the breeze on our face, the warmth of the sun, the wonder of the moon, Venus, the first star of the evening, we can know happiness.

With things as they are with the pandemic, and the regulations here, and when they are lifted it still will be risky to be in crowded places and to travel, I can’t go for a brief visit. When things are safer, I so want to see them. I saw her for coffee in my garden at the end of last summer. Then, he thought he had an injury. Now, one leg is affected, and he gets spasms and cramps. That’s how fast it has progressed. His prognosis is two and a half years.

His wife, my closer friend, and younger, will be a widow at 50.

I know people lose their spouses and partners at any age, but when it’s so close to me it seems young to be a widow.

So he has never smoked, got drunk, or lazed around. No, he just got a most cruel disease.

That’s not to say smoking and alcohol don’t do harm. They do harm suddenly. Heart attacks, strokes, emphysema, etc.

I keep wanting to post poems, but I can’t right now. I feel tired, although I actually slept until 8 this morning. I felt feverish earlier but that’s gone.

Please click like, I know you read. Only a few do now. I’m grateful for them. I welcome comments too.

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Next day…

I have been OK, even without the medicine. I’m suprised, as previously I got quite unwell. I felt it most last night.

I’m thankful for the friends I have who help me out atsuch times. I better not mention who they are or where they live as the poison pen may get busy again. One would think they have better thingsto do.

It is so bitterly cold. I feel it even though I am snug in my home. I hear the wind, and see the sky and know it’s 0/-1 C out there today.

I have not yet been summoned for my vaccinne. I thought I would get done with the vulnerable grouping. If they have me by age, I have a wait. I still am dubious about how my neurological disease will react to the chemicals that preserve the protein spike.

I am in a sleep cycle that isn’t great just now. I wake between 2am and 3am. I am drawn to my bed early though. I love my bed and in winter I just want to hibernate. Daffadils are beginning to show, and other spring flowers. I have seeds to sow in March. That’s not far away. I will have been shielding since March 6 last year so nearly a year. Of course, I have been out, but since Christmas only twice.

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A fresh fig from my tree…

A friend came over today in order to help with my garden. Really, I helped him. We transplanted a few plants and planted new ones.

He managed to get my sister’s memorial rose free from a weed that was choking it. I am particularly grateful for that.

Chatting whilst gardening is a great thing to do. It is so good for mental health. I had a fever, still do, but being in the garden did me a lot of good.

Just before that, a chap from the other end of the Quay came to get some horse manure. I was pleased.

Earlier, a friend came to pick up a box and bag for charity shops. She flattened some boxes for me, and connected my kindle to the wifi. It’s now connected to Amazon.

We had a coffee and a chat. She’s really lovely and I appreciate her a lot.

I gave her a copy of my book. Last Monday, I attended a zoom poetry event and read from my book. Afterwards, I was thrilled to see they had put a link on their facebook page. That is what creative people need. A lot of encouragement. Thank you, Exeter!

The book has had two really good reviews on Amazon. It so helps, otherwise we tend to feel we are writing to a void.

Zoom meetings have been great during this pandemic.

So yes, I still have a fever. I slept well last night. My breathing seems a bit better. I so don’t want to go into hospital.

My daughter will be home soon. I can’t wait to see her.

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Feeling awful…

Yesterday,, paramedics came out as I was wheezing so badly. They nebulized me, which gave some improvement, but wanted to take me to hospital. They agreed that the risk of catching worse bugs there was too high.

I was shaking so much with the effect of the nebuliser. I could see my hands trembling and I had tachycardia. I went to bed at 7.30 or so and amazingly I slept well.

I had been meant to see friends yesterday, which we put of until today but I have cancelled as I feel so weak.

I will sip some wine and go to bed soon. I hope my rest will be as good tonight.

My daughter is working in Oxford for another five months. I don’t want to worry her.

It’s been good to have contact with her though, and many of my friends.

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Feeling great…

Yesterday evening flew by and so I am writing a post now. I still feel great.

I made coffee and then I went out along the sea but it reminds me too much of my dog, so I went the other way and had a chat with the marine police.

I had maybe my last fig. It was really good. More may ripen. We shall see. The tomatoes continue to be incredibly good. So do the strawberries.

I am so grateful for my garden. And my friends.

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Praying for rain…

There’s a heavy rain cloud overhead, I hope it will pour down for my garden. And for my breathing.

I feel tired again. Inflammation makes one tired in order to make a person rest so that they recover. My ankle has been very inflamed and still has a little way to go.

I just left a zoom meeting. It didn’t seem to flow well and some feel predisposed to talk when it’s someone’s turn to speak.

I am still taking painkillers for my ankle and the bruising to my back. That is better but I still get twinges in my ribs.

I had a friend for cold drinks in my garden. It was so pleasant but I really find it hard to trust anyone these days. So many people are untrustworthy and unreliable.

I am grateful for the friends I have.

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Rain and hip pain but still OK…

It’s been an odd day, but productive. I did waken until noon, so I had fourteen hours sleep and I feel better for it.

A friend sent a text to say she was going to a store and I thought that she keeps doing far too much.

I was writing and making my dinner. My cell phone rang and a man said ”Is this Chrissie?”

I said I was and he told my friend had collapsed. Since I was her most frequently contacted name on her phone he called me. I told him her daughter’s name but he couldn’t find her number so I gave the name of her brother.

Then I dashed up to see if I could reassure my friend. The paramedic was about to close the ambulance door but I asked him to tell her I had come. it’s reassuring when you know someone gives a damn.

I came home. It was raining and I got plenty of strange looks as I was not dressed for rain. But I care more about my friends than I do about getting wet.

At 9pm she said she was home and had no milk. I put some milk in a jug and took it to her.

She didn’t look good but who does after that? Ordinarily she would have stayed in hospital overnight, but at this time it is a risk.

I had a brief chat with the guy who took my call at switch. They are undervalued and not thought of. He appreciated my thanks as they always do.

The rain! Great for my garden. Great for keeping people who gather in groups at home.

I’m so grateful for my garden. My friends and the local hospital. My daughter was fabulous while I was ill last week and has brought shopping again.

I am bucking the trend. I am drinking less alcohol since lockdown and not over eating. I am content with my very local friends, but I do miss the ones further afield who I see regularly.

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The danger of believing one side… and how to survive Covid19…

I am so grateful for the friends I have in my life. Some for all my life. They are all different. They all bring out the best in me, and all would say the same things of me.

Generous, kind, loyal, trusted, fun, funny, spontaneous, won’t gossip, discreet, patient, wise, knowledgeable.

The last thing my friends need to know about me is that I have a Ph.D. It does not define me.

Those I have had difficulty with, such as Key Living, my former neighbours, and Michael E. are because of unprofessional behaviour, gossip, and alcoholism. Those are nothing to do with me.

The editor that has harassed me for months became more vicious when I messaged his blog to ask to stop. I had to give an email address and I was not going to my own. I had already told him that. So I asked various of my friends and selected one from a professor friend who was interested seeing the replies.

That editor now thinks I have used different identities, even though the name is easily found on the web. But it fuels his persecution complex. Which sits alongside his narcissitic tendency. He’s rather like Trump.

So he has published a reply from Callum Brown. Reporting it to be from me. What a fool, because he has broken all the rules of medium.com and made a fool of himself.

He styles himself as Dr but he only has a BSc. And the institution where he claims to have gained L3 in architecture has no record of him.

A friend of mine in Malaysia has written extensively about Covid 19. Here are some facts you need to know about a corona virus:

SARS survivors are also more likely to develop neuropsychiatric disorders at 31–50 months post-infection, compared to the non-infected. The data shows that 54.5% of SARS survivors had PTSD, 39% had depression, 36.4% had pain disorder; 32.5% had panic disorder, and 15.6% had obsessive-compulsive disorder.Whereas the prevalence of these disorders was only 3% before the SARS epidemic.

To survive Covid19, you need to eat high protein, fats such as legumes and meat, and as few carbs as you can. Carbs feed foreign bacteria and free radicals, so they compromise the immune system.

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A bit crushed…

Photo by TOPHEE MARQUEZ on Pexels.com

The wife in the couple to whom I teach conversational English is angry. I’ve been teaching one of them and he is so grateful, but she will only take lessons by skype. She will not come to join the conversation.

.

A friend down the road hurt me late last week, and I emailed her about it. I got no response. She fetched shopping for me today as I’m not allowed in shops. Instead of apologising she rubbed salt in the wound and left as I started to cry.

Why do I attract such bad friends?

Tonight I diagnosed a much better friend with Venous Stasis, which is dangerous if untreated. She had phoned her doctor described her symptoms and she told me she was prescribed tablets. Tonight I discovered they are antibiotics!!! Completely wrong!!!

I have continued to sleep well. And long.

I have poured out my anger about M. Ebsworth breaking my laptop. No mature response. Why are men such children. I need a laptop so badly.

The houses opposite are much further progressed than I realised. This is why I am considering palliative care only. I can’t not see the sun in winter.

I am happy and at peace. I know where I am going.