I managed to speed up my prescription…

After my horrendous night, I knew I could not face another. I sent an email to my doctors practice and then went there on my trolley. Having purpose took my mind off my body. A receptionist told me the prescription would be with the pharmacy later. I y then rang the pharmacy, and yes, they had it.

I tried to phone Martin, a friend who had offered to go for me, but there was no answer. So I set off to get there myself. It was spitting with rain and growing dark. The traffic was building up. I just kept going although a lot of the time I felt afraid.

The pharmacist handed me a small bag. I asked if my key medicine was in it. She said no, it would be done in the morning. I replied that I had only come because they had told me it could be dispensed then. She was very kind and filled the whole prescription.

Coming home was darker and scarier. Where I live is so quiet. Every strange sound made me jump. Every shadow made me aware of how vulnerable I was.

I got home and took my meds. After a while I began to feel the beneficial effect of the meds. I was so relieved.

I again pulled weight on my bed cover. It comforted me. I slept fairly well. Today, I have felt fatigue. My vagus nerve is traumatised. It has been for some time, years.

I am so grateful that Martin phoned just as I had taken my meds. He had come to my house and found me not there.

I am grateful to the woman who was also in the pharmacy. I am grateful to all my friends.

Mostly, I am grateful to God. Without him I would despair. But I wish my spirit would weaken.

In My Garden

I just planted a lime mint. It’s tiny but has roots. It has a good-sized pot to grow and fill. I never heard of lime mint before. Just mint.
I’m in the process of planting wild geranium. I say that, as it is in a pot, but not yet fully filled with soil. It was well-watered.

I do love it when a friend brings a plant. Bonding a deeper friendship over the scent of soil each time. I get renewed through plants and my garden in general. In my garden, it’s peaceful and secluded. With a friend or on my own, I have my own little woodland area and flowers all around. When I hear anger or gossip, which I detest, I go into my garden. Or like yesterday, exposed to cruel words which were none of the tellers business, I went to our huge park. So green, so wooded.

It Makes Sense Now

The horrid rude and sarcastic man on Nextdoor known as Anthony Hunt, who I could not find on Facebook, is a Tony Hunt who has perpetually mocked me and ridiculed my attempts to advocate for paramedics getting through traffic. He got Barbara kicked off Nextdoor as a fake account because as the survivor of domestic abuse, she has no ID to to prove who she is. That poor woman. She was distraught as her nephew pays her mobile phone bill from a town in the next county. Some people have such aimless lives. We met while i waa walking one day and we came to where she waa lodging and we realised we lived in the same road. And yesterday afternoon I met a lovely lady who has been here longer than I have and we have never met. So odd.

Nothing better to do than torture and hurt others. He gave himself away by telling me I got banned for being rude. The cheek of him. I signed out after thinking the lies told by Benn Jackson had been sorted by admin only to find he created a fake account. So I left. Why be around idiots?

Mr Jackson though committed harrassment by having people phone my number and send texts. The police have all those numbers. Just not enough evidence to take action. Well the police have more information now.

My laptop screen broke this morning. I was scanning a bar code and it went dark. So Dave is doing that for me. It will be fixed by Tuesday. I am so grateful for Dave. Such a great guy. Not many like him. At age 31. He is rare.

On my way down the high street i inhaled someone’s cigarette smoke. She was walking along oblivious to the fact that she was spreading smoke. They should have certain areas so that the smoke stays in known places. So many people are vulnerable to cigarette smoke.

Because this is on my phone I will end by saying how perfect the two days have been and such a great evening last night giving away my figs. And before that I planted three plants and Charlie gave me poppy seeds this morning.

Strange things…

Today has been a day of strange things. I started the morning with my palliative nurse. I like her so much.

Then I had several messages. That was very pleasant.

I went into town briefly and met someone I used to know. She said how I used to make Sunday dinner for them. I was happy to be reminded.

And on my way out of the garden, I ate two figs from my fig tree. I was really happy about that.

A glorious day…

The weather today was glorious. I slept late. The effect of being a CO2 retainer. I spent time on my swing seat, lounging in the sun. I watered recently planted plants, as well as my window box and that of my neighbours.

This evening was spent with friends which was very pleasant indeed. Very civilised as my Dad would say. Convivial.

A great day.

Life is fragile…

This morning I opened a WhatsApp message. It came last night as a response to my reply to her initial message, asking how I was.

Her husband, also a friend, has been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease. I was shocked to the core. I’ve known him since he was 14 or younger. He is just a bit younger than me. His brother was my best friend for years.

I responded with all the love I have for them.

Life is not to be taken for granted. Especially our health, family, and friends. Money doesn’t buy happiness. Gratitude does. When we live with gratitude for what we have, the beauty around us, wonderful aromas, the songs of birds, trees, real vanilla ice-cream, the breeze on our face, the warmth of the sun, the wonder of the moon, Venus, the first star of the evening, we can know happiness.

With things as they are with the pandemic, and the regulations here, and when they are lifted it still will be risky to be in crowded places and to travel, I can’t go for a brief visit. When things are safer, I so want to see them. I saw her for coffee in my garden at the end of last summer. Then, he thought he had an injury. Now, one leg is affected, and he gets spasms and cramps. That’s how fast it has progressed. His prognosis is two and a half years.

His wife, my closer friend, and younger, will be a widow at 50.

I know people lose their spouses and partners at any age, but when it’s so close to me it seems young to be a widow.

So he has never smoked, got drunk, or lazed around. No, he just got a most cruel disease.

That’s not to say smoking and alcohol don’t do harm. They do harm suddenly. Heart attacks, strokes, emphysema, etc.

I keep wanting to post poems, but I can’t right now. I feel tired, although I actually slept until 8 this morning. I felt feverish earlier but that’s gone.

Please click like, I know you read. Only a few do now. I’m grateful for them. I welcome comments too.

Next day…

I have been OK, even without the medicine. I’m suprised, as previously I got quite unwell. I felt it most last night.

I’m thankful for the friends I have who help me out atsuch times. I better not mention who they are or where they live as the poison pen may get busy again. One would think they have better thingsto do.

It is so bitterly cold. I feel it even though I am snug in my home. I hear the wind, and see the sky and know it’s 0/-1 C out there today.

I have not yet been summoned for my vaccinne. I thought I would get done with the vulnerable grouping. If they have me by age, I have a wait. I still am dubious about how my neurological disease will react to the chemicals that preserve the protein spike.

I am in a sleep cycle that isn’t great just now. I wake between 2am and 3am. I am drawn to my bed early though. I love my bed and in winter I just want to hibernate. Daffadils are beginning to show, and other spring flowers. I have seeds to sow in March. That’s not far away. I will have been shielding since March 6 last year so nearly a year. Of course, I have been out, but since Christmas only twice.

A fresh fig from my tree…

A friend came over today in order to help with my garden. Really, I helped him. We transplanted a few plants and planted new ones.

He managed to get my sister’s memorial rose free from a weed that was choking it. I am particularly grateful for that.

Chatting whilst gardening is a great thing to do. It is so good for mental health. I had a fever, still do, but being in the garden did me a lot of good.

Just before that, a chap from the other end of the Quay came to get some horse manure. I was pleased.

Earlier, a friend came to pick up a box and bag for charity shops. She flattened some boxes for me, and connected my kindle to the wifi. It’s now connected to Amazon.

We had a coffee and a chat. She’s really lovely and I appreciate her a lot.

I gave her a copy of my book. Last Monday, I attended a zoom poetry event and read from my book. Afterwards, I was thrilled to see they had put a link on their facebook page. That is what creative people need. A lot of encouragement. Thank you, Exeter!

The book has had two really good reviews on Amazon. It so helps, otherwise we tend to feel we are writing to a void.

Zoom meetings have been great during this pandemic.

So yes, I still have a fever. I slept well last night. My breathing seems a bit better. I so don’t want to go into hospital.

My daughter will be home soon. I can’t wait to see her.

Feeling awful…

Yesterday,, paramedics came out as I was wheezing so badly. They nebulized me, which gave some improvement, but wanted to take me to hospital. They agreed that the risk of catching worse bugs there was too high.

I was shaking so much with the effect of the nebuliser. I could see my hands trembling and I had tachycardia. I went to bed at 7.30 or so and amazingly I slept well.

I had been meant to see friends yesterday, which we put of until today but I have cancelled as I feel so weak.

I will sip some wine and go to bed soon. I hope my rest will be as good tonight.

My daughter is working in Oxford for another five months. I don’t want to worry her.

It’s been good to have contact with her though, and many of my friends.

Feeling great…

Yesterday evening flew by and so I am writing a post now. I still feel great.

I made coffee and then I went out along the sea but it reminds me too much of my dog, so I went the other way and had a chat with the marine police.

I had maybe my last fig. It was really good. More may ripen. We shall see. The tomatoes continue to be incredibly good. So do the strawberries.

I am so grateful for my garden. And my friends.

Praying for rain…

There’s a heavy rain cloud overhead, I hope it will pour down for my garden. And for my breathing.

I feel tired again. Inflammation makes one tired in order to make a person rest so that they recover. My ankle has been very inflamed and still has a little way to go.

I just left a zoom meeting. It didn’t seem to flow well and some feel predisposed to talk when it’s someone’s turn to speak.

I am still taking painkillers for my ankle and the bruising to my back. That is better but I still get twinges in my ribs.

I had a friend for cold drinks in my garden. It was so pleasant but I really find it hard to trust anyone these days. So many people are untrustworthy and unreliable.

I am grateful for the friends I have.

Rain and hip pain but still OK…

• 

It’s been an odd day, but productive. I did waken until noon, so I had fourteen hours sleep and I feel better for it.

A friend sent a text to say she was going to a store and I thought that she keeps doing far too much.

I was writing and making my dinner. My cell phone rang and a man said ”Is this Chrissie?”

I said I was and he told my friend had collapsed. Since I was her most frequently contacted name on her phone he called me. I told him her daughter’s name but he couldn’t find her number so I gave the name of her brother.

Then I dashed up to see if I could reassure my friend. The paramedic was about to close the ambulance door but I asked him to tell her I had come. it’s reassuring when you know someone gives a damn.

I came home. It was raining and I got plenty of strange looks as I was not dressed for rain. But I care more about my friends than I do about getting wet.

At 9pm she said she was home and had no milk. I put some milk in a jug and took it to her.

She didn’t look good but who does after that? Ordinarily she would have stayed in hospital overnight, but at this time it is a risk.

I had a brief chat with the guy who took my call at switch. They are undervalued and not thought of. He appreciated my thanks as they always do.

The rain! Great for my garden. Great for keeping people who gather in groups at home.

I’m so grateful for my garden. My friends and the local hospital. My daughter was fabulous while I was ill last week and has brought shopping again.

I am bucking the trend. I am drinking less alcohol since lockdown and not over eating. I am content with my very local friends, but I do miss the ones further afield who I see regularly.