Ireland won, and more on my journey…

I was very happy that Ireland won their opening game in the Six Nations. They won at home for the first time since the game at Croke Park, borrowed from the GAA. I remember that match. Not a dry eye in the stadium. It was such a shame that Ronan Gara refused to shake hands with royalty.

It would have been my sister Pamela’s birthday today. It’s a a strange thing to know it, and miss her. She should be here, laughing with me.

I am seeing spring is very much arriving in my garden. Green shoots are everywhere, buds and spring flowers. It gives me a good feeling. It’s a bit early for some things but with so much confusion in the weather I’ll take any joy on offer.

My writing is going well on medium. I enjoy it and I like reading the articles of others. It’s a stretching exercise, a growing edge, and I’m glad because I like personal growth. I don’t like to stand still.

The nerve in my left leg has continued to give some gip, but nothing like the pain I had previously. I’m grateful for this.

Feeling fulfilled and other blessings…

Receiving my copies of One Hundred Memories yesterday was a completion of a long process, and I have come to know and love the editor very much. Her services to poetry are tremendous and I admire her greatly.

I read my poem a tear came to me. For no longer being a child, for all those things Dad did for us that I took for granted. For losing my Dad twice, once to Alzheimer’s and then to death. Although the Alzheimer’s helped me rediscover my Dad, as he forgot the chains my mother had wrapped around him over many years.

I am so grateful that my Dad died in my arms. My friends have found this hard. To me it was the most natural thing in the world. I cannot tell you how much I loved my Dad. He was always there for me, always calm. While my mother got hysterical and self centred, my Dad remained peaceful and strong. When my head had two openings, he never flinched, though he teared up. And while I was recovering, with akinetic mutism, he carried me.

Now that my sister has also died, it is likely that I will die alone. I do not have a partner, I have not wanted one for fifteen years when a long term relationship failed. I remember saying to someone last year that I don’t want involvement with a man, and then one crashed into my bedroom.

In all truth, it is better to be alone than to be in a relationship in which you have to pretend, lie, or not be your truly authentic self.

Never make do. I say this to all young people. Don’t settle for hamburger, when you can have steak.

Make sure you are on the same page about almost everything.

Today, a fellow blogger said I had given them inspiration. That’s humbling and reason for much gratitude. I feel such joy that they are inspiring others. That is why I stated this blog.

The now waning moon…

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Look for the now waning moon in the morning this weekend. I know I’m late with my invite to the party, but this gives me such joy.

I lost an entire poem today. I had spent ages crafting it, and had tried and failed to turn it into a Word doc. Then I realised the draft has disappeared.

My head has been aching from the sound of my neighbours high pitched wind chimes. They refuse point blank to move them, and if only they were a lower pitch.

Great news is that my doctor has prescribed a smaller dose of the medicine that helps my breathing so much. I had to come off it because I was getting the rare side effects. A smaller dose will be ok. I’m trusting that.

So the good outweighs the not so good, and the absolutely awful. I try to look for joy in everyday things, and I find it. It makes life so much happier. Today I wrote about how a bee had landed on my skirt, and I discovered it as I sat down in a coffee house in Bournemouth. I found such pleasure in watching it, before it flew off and found it’s wiggly way through the door back out to the polluted air, and I wondered where it has been living.