Categories
Post

Lung physio…

No, it is not what you think. No one is thumping my back with cupped hands to loosen phlegm. I wish someone was.

I acquired a contraption that is like a whistle but much bigger. I blow into it and a ball lifts and vibrates. It is the vibration that I inhale that loosens phlegm. The only problem is that I am unable to cough it away.

The thing is though, my breathing has improved. At the same time though, I have started drinking ginger, turmeric, honey, and lemon as a tea. I feel this helps too. They are all decogestants. I didn’t think to start them at different times as I’m a bear of little brain. I’m just happy that my breathing is improved.

Tomorrow, I have a zoom meeting with my boss to be at SWASFT. Another phoned me earlier today to reassure me that messages with links to other articles are the products of the unintelligent. He didn’t say it quite that way though…

Categories
Post

At times I’m suffocating…

My breathing has not got worse since the paramedics came, at least I don’t think so. But I just opened a package that had staples, got a drink, and came upstairs, and my chest felt like it needed to explode in order to let oxygen in.

It is two-three minutes of absolute inactivity, a gasping while no air actually gets in with the gasping. (When the paramedics were nebulising me, I realised I was exhaling with every inhalation. I watched the gas being blown out far more than I took it in.)

No one would have blamed me if I had calledfor paramedics on 999, as I did last time.

I am terrified of being taken to hospital though. I don’t want to be exposed to the bugs in hospital. And my neurological disease gets overlooked.

I am OK now. I could go down and get a drink and come back up, and only be slightly fast in my breathing with some wheezing. It was the fighting with the package that wiped me out.

It’s been chilly here, so last night I felt my bedroom was cold enough when I went to bed. I woke in the night for quite a while. I need my window open at night, no matter how chilly the air.

I don’t have Netflix at present, but I’ve seen photos of Emily Cronin. It really freaks me out and she is my double when I was aged 19/20. It is so uncanny. So startling. I really can’t believe the likeness.

I’m enjoying chatting with my daughter. She is ‘different’ now that she is single. The first 18 months with her boyfriend were ok, but then he totally became rude. I realised very quickly that he had not been taught manners. But it went far beyond that.

I’m just grateful for this time and my upcoming birthday with my daughter. I adore her.

I don’t know if this episode with my lungs is just another infection as I’ve had for the last 18 months, if it’s a winter thing, or deterioration.

I do know that I want to die and go to God. But I’ll miss my daughter.

Mike I thought you didn’t want meto die alone?

Categories
Post

Blue lights and paramedics…

So, I was going to bed when I started to feel wheezy and tight in my chest. My inhaler was not where I always put it in my bedroom, and the searching got me unsettled. I knew I had taken it downstairs when I had guests, but surely I had used it earlier in my bedroom. When I stopped searching, I found it.

It’s funny how things are always in the last place you look.

So I unlocked the front door and dialled 999. While I waited I played a game on my phone which distracts and keeps me calm. So when the paramedics arrived, I actually felt a little better. The paramedics were alarmed. I felt like an imposter. So my breathing was very bad, my blood pressure raised and my heart rate high. They gave me the usual steroid to inhale and then they gave me another steroid that I’ve never had before. I am shaking as a result.

They made me sign a disclaimer, as I refused to go to hospital. Even so, my breathing was slowed significantly and my heart rate was slowed more than on other paramedic visits.

While I was being treated, the lead paramedic who was supervising started commenting on what good taste I had in my home. He said my dining room lights were ‘lush’. And he liked the art I’ve hung, and my furniture. My friend Geoff will be pleased as he put up the lights with no charge. I chose them of course.

So I brought some TripleSec up to my room to try to dull the effects of the steroids – my mind pinging around, and my body shaking. I will be awake for sometime. Hey ho.

I just got a message from a dear friend who is my former bosses wife. We have grown close through facebook and messaging. I used to be in awe of her. She is so kind and generous in spirit. I’m going to send her the cake recipe I posted yesterday.

I have been in touch with my cousin all day. We communicate almost every day. I am hoping to go there for Christmas, but as they had already arranged to go to her son’s, so she is working on it.

Categories
Post

Chest Infection…

Yesterday I mentioned that I felt congested and put it down to the weather. I should have known better. When I opened my bedroom window last night before going to bed, the effort caused me to feel hot and prick with cold perspiration. I sat on my bed with my ceiling fan on for a while and fell asleep to the gentle noise it makes.

This morning I wakened at six and could feel the cold air on my face. I stayed like that for a while and then closed the window. I tested my breathing – that isn’t a thing, it’s seeing if I feel congested. I decided I wasn’t and looked through my emails, and listened to some radio. I fell asleep some time after noon and slept until 3pm. I felt cold and hot to touch, so I’ve started a course of antibiotics. I’m drinking lots and managed a smaller dinner than usual. I’ve opened window and turned the heating off to help reduce my temperature.

It’s a bit of a blow as I have a poetry performance on Tuesday and a medical later in the week. My head is spinning. I should feel better in a couple of days. I will ask my doctor for a course of steroids.

I have to stop minimising my lung’s problems. I need to act as soon as I feel congested so that I don’t get pneumonia. I’ve had that twice after I broke a rib a long time ago and it wasn’t nice at all. At least I feel in charge of my body now, which is definitely a good thing.

Check out the meme at the top of this post. It is very wise.

Instagram: @purbeckpoet