I had my vaccine…

Very reluctantly, but because it’s the right thing to do. I knew it would make me unwell, but I didn’t bargain for how unwell. I became very feverish, and every bone in my body hurt. I didn’t bother to take my temperature as I was far too unwell. I was very hot indeed.

I also had trembling and muscle spasms. This is what I had feared most – the effect on my nervous system.

56 hours later, my temperature is down, most of the aching and bone pain is gone, but I have nerve pain and earlier I had sharp pain in my left shoulder.

I am fully aware of what pain in my left shoulder might indicate, but I’ve had it on and off for a long time. I frequently get pain in my chest. I know my heart is affected but not sure how. I am not ready to see a doctor about it yet. I have other concerns.

Most of us here are staying at home, if we can’t go to work. I have become aware of people jaunting around the country to hear/see concerts. I am enraged because two weeks ago our fourth paramedic died of Covid. 41 years old. Doing his job.

The NHS is so stretched. People who go for jaunts risk having accidents. That’s why they’re asked to stay local. This is a pandemic. It’s a virus with which humans have no immunity. I give up on people being decent and doing the right thing.

It’s a bright sunny day today but I shall probably fall asleep. In rugby, the Triple Crown will be fought for. I hope I get to see it.

In such pain…

Yesterday evening, two friends came to my home to have dinner with me. Mathew is the friend that picked me up when my trolley tipped up in November. Chrisii and he are having a baby which is due on the second of March.

I had bought some gifts the baby, some soft toys and a thermometer, and light blankets/shawls. She intends to breastfeed, so they will be good for discretion when needed. I didn’t really bother with one, but never actually fed my daughter in public, the most being a small party.

I got the pleasure of feeling the babies heartbeat. It was wonderful. I haven’t felt an unborn baby for so long.

I slept very soundly last night, but woke before six a.m. and knew that was it. Yesterday, a nerve in my thigh bit me three times. Today, it began to hurt at around lunch time, and it’s constancy has worn me to the edge of tears. I have eaten a hot meal and feel a little stronger.

I was rather fazed a short while ago. My phone was going. Message alerts from facebook, and timing the oven.

I came here for peace. For processing some thoughts.

Earlier, I was looking at the harbour and saw a grey horse cantering across it with a rider. It was a moment before I realised this was impossible. Anyhow, it’s a poem in the making.

A friend helped me with the garden yesterday. My neighbours had not only hooked their gates open, but had hammered very long nails under the handle off the bolt as well as above. To prevent me from having access to my garden with a vehicle, or rather, my friend’s van. We twisted the nail upright and closed their gate to open mine.

At times I tremble at what they put me through. But I will not give in to ill-mannered bullies. I will assert myself, as I am not in the wrong.

Thank you for some kind comments in the last week. They mean so much to me. Thank you so much.

Treading Water

Since my last post my laptop has been seriously malfunctioning. This is my fifth attempt to write. To add a meme is impossible. Mike Ebsworth has changed his phone number in the hope of avoiding legal consequences but it’s not as simple as that.

I am concerned about him, as the woman he shares an address with tried to hit him, and I saw a bruise on his upper arm which he said was work related. But that doesn’t fit. Last November I saw multiple bruises on his upper arms and he said it was work then. I had no reason to disbelieve him, but I do now.

The wind chimes my neighbours hung continue to cause me headaches, nerve pain and muscle spasms. My head also seems to be in a fog and my concentration is out the window. I can’t remember anything, it seems. I forgot to go to two shops while I was out. I am worried that I will suffer a seizure . I need to end this blog, as I can’t see what I am typing. This is an additional pain the neck, so to speak.

A few days ago I met with a friend and because the place we were at was so noisy, we went to my home. She hadn’t been there before, and she exclaimed how lovely it was. She admired my use of colour and the art I choose to hang. Michael also used to love my home. He always complimented me.

Laura laughed when I told herMikeEbbsworth had left because he thought I wanted a carer. She said she had never known anyone as independent as me.