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Talking To My Heart

My heart has made a journey, within my body
as well as a journey filled with love

I soothe my heart with pleasant memories
with the words of love spoken to me

Over many years, many voices in many places
some are beautiful, some are really not

I have sat in gutter with addicts, giving them truth
dined with the wealthy, slightly out of place

My heart does overtime, in my body, and also
with my loved ones, and the needy

I talk to my heart because I know it well
I ask it to take rest, and also do more

Published in KnowThelf,Heal Thyself

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Silken Ribbons

I always pretend to hear whispers of our world,
yet my mind always drifts towards that open void,
reflecting on kisses that undress the ache of my scars,

unfurling sorrows as if silken ribbons.
These will never wither,
but will be absorbed by you
when low moments come to mock.

And as time settles into evening,
your shadow will hang itself from my core.
And with sighs quivering between my lips –
my spirit will wrap itself around warmth of your body.
And when you stroke your fingers through my hair –
you will feel each aching breath of me.

Published in The Lark Written 2005

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Church of England

Photo by Cosmic Timetraveler on Unsplash

I’m a private person I admit, but I live in openness

No secrecy for me, no lies — my memory is not that good

Oh how you bewitched me and yet failed me all the time

You took the money I put as offerings, the meals I brought

The errands I did for those who needed help

You bewitched me and then turned your backs

Free me, free me from the doctrines of the Niceans

Erase from me the falseness of Constantine’s mould

Unbind my mind from the lies you teach

And the occult in which you play out your rules

No one could have been crueler, not even a demon from hell

No one expects betrayal and sell out from those who call ‘sister’

Is given stones when they ask for bread or trust

Shunned when visited by violence in your offices

In law we have ‘habeas corpus’ — due process, transparency

But I learn to my abhorrence, you practice the arts of darkness

Straight from the pits of hell, and until I realised the trick

I thought I was insane, crazed, and my beliefs confounded

I thought so many times to drive into the harbour, into a bus

To take so many pills I would not wake again and feel such agony

Which I thought to be visited on me by God — but he is good

My child is far too beloved that you should steal from her!

You formed a file about me which had a direct lie within

The words of those who knew nothing of the assault on my person

And the vague references made had no sense to me at all

– because there was no veracity contained therein

You branded me a nuisance, a whiner, worse still a liar

Hearsay poured out, but in the wrong context — gossip dead straight

I was bewildered by your questions because they had no relevance

To me or anything I knew, seven false allegations

Wipe my mind clean, cleanse me O God, this pain is yours

They assumed an email was from me, but no, my ex’s concern for our child

Because his account was born in my pc and thus an alias of my account

But Lord you were betrayed by your own people

I will not again enter the doors of established Christendom — it does not exist

You follow Constantine not the Lord or his teaching of love

Jesus did not come to start a religion, but to make the way to God

Open again, and to stand in the gap for us. Not ways of the dark

I will flourish, I will blossom and you have cursed yourselves

In cursing me. May God forgive you if you admit your wrong I cannot

And no one should be allowed to join your church, your dagger poised,

To stab and ignore if they should fall foul of your world of ‘Vicar is God’

Published in Know Thyself, Heal Thyself

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A Prince Has Died

Today a Prince among men has died
royal in birth, a refugee, a child passed
from land to land.

He won the heart and hand of a Princess
wooed her, married, and served her well
renouncing his title to be her Prince.

Roguish, dapper, charming, and smart
he was unflinching in the task, he took no
flatter, no false position, tireless he worked
in science, youth, conservation, trees, he
gave himself, devoted to his Queen.

Now wear black, stop the clock,
a Prince is dead, our Queen in mourning.

Published in The Lark 09 04 21

I never realised what he gave up, or how he was a refugee from one year old. He was a born leader, but walked one step behind when his wife became Queen. He was her confidante, partner, advisor, and husband.

Men nor women love like this anymore.

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I Don’t Know Why

Ancient history now, but still sometimes
in my mind, I see you kissing me so deeply
such craving for touch until then I knew not
your tall, broad, body at an angle to my small one

I see it as if from the ceiling, maybe your size
made me aware much more that you are male
the hunger and need caught me by surprise
a recognition was lit in my soul to nurture you

So it was, I fed you what you were longing for
since then you’ve lied and betrayed our trist
calling you spineless was true after all, though
my pain because of it was deep. I don’t know why

I saw the truth but wanted to deny your sweetness
was encased in a troubled heart, bereaved so young
you have no idea of being loved or loving back
you numb yourself with drink but worse, enable a drunk

Published in The Lark

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My Garden

My garden has taken work and time
to become the haven for wildlife

Í planted trees, dug out a stubborn weed
made sure rain sinks into the ground

My path gets tufts of weed, I leave them
critters live and hibernate in them
I take them out late in spring, to start
another year of growth, it’s valuable

Eventually, I took away the grass, no time
or energy to mow, replaced with moss
and gravelly stones in between the flowers
low maintenance is my key, and pleasure

Birds visit each day, bees, butterflies and moths
they pollinate, make good company, my haven
designed for them and me. A place to sit
a rest a while with my friends and family

Hanging baskets now adorn the walls, blooms
trail and grow upright too, wish I’d done before
No annuals, just self seed, or grow from year to year
my own sweetest fruit and vegetables a
re cropped

Published in Wood Workers of The World Unite

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The Path We Take

I started out full of hope
travel, people, cuisines
adventure and experiences

I never lacked male company
men were falling for me
I could not see it

you wooed me, manipulating
I tried to resist that, stay myself
you were a bully, I didn’t see

until too late, although
I wept with joy at our wedding
my love was too blind

you wanted me to be happy
it’s true, but your seed made
a child inside me, a life

I nurtured, but you made war
the conflict was too much
you made holes in my soul

or fitted in the ones already there
poison spilled in as I chose my child
not you, who never honored me

you undermined until the hole
swallowed me, finding I was hiding
cash to make an escape

when I told you to go you blamed me
for your past, I never realised
I would pay for it too

take your past, your disrespect, your blame
it is not mine, though I fought your battle
no more, no more, no more

I will walk alone rather than with you
who mocks, disrespects, has no regard
alone is far richer, more peaceful

I choose it over you, who destroyed
my self belief, my confidence, my being
peace is mine now, joy comes my way

Published in Contemplate

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Protest

Day by day

From our birth

Learn to touch

Want to smile

And we laugh

So we grow

World expands

See the sky

Why what how

Start to ask

And we trust

Won’t you shout out loud with me

Why is that, what’s it do

How do you know it’s true

We feel pain

Someone hurts

It’s unfair

We see life

Differently

No more trust

So won’t you scream out loud with me

Why is this world unfair

Why are there rich and poor

Why are some crushed when I am free

We want change

We want light

Equality

So just please shout out loud with me

Let’s revolutionize how it works

Let us all be free

No more poverty

So come and scream with me

Give us equality

We bring peace

Published in Comtemplate

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Imad

A poem of sadness

I have sought you out this day
wishing to read your sage speaking
you are no longer here, and sadness
envelopes me. Why are you gone?

Sadness shrouds me, bereft I write
but realize I can’t send it to you
oh, why did I not know you would go?
Tears spring, that we haven’t met

We’ve shared a writing space,
admired and confided, vanish seems
puzzling, bewildered, bereaved
farewell, wherever you be, fare well.

Published in The Lark

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The Path We Walk

I started out full of hope
travel, people, cuisines
adventure and experiences

I never lacked male company
men were falling for me
I could not see it

you wooed me, manipulating
I tried to resist that, stay myself
you were a bully, I didn’t see

until too late, although
I wept with joy at our wedding
my love was too blind

you wanted me to be happy
it’s true, but your seed made
a child inside me, a life

I nurtured, but you made war
the conflict was too much
you made holes in my soul

or fitted in the ones already there
poison spilled in as I chose my child
not you, who never honored me

you undermined until the hole
swallowed me, finding I was hiding
cash to make an escape

when I told you to go you blamed me
for your past, I never realised
I would pay for it too

take your past, your disrespect, your blame
it is not mine, though I fought your battle
no more, no more, no more

I will walk alone rather than with you
who mocks, disrespects, has no regard
alone is far richer, more peaceful

I choose it over you, who destroyed
my self belief, my confidence, my being
peace is mine now, joy comes my way

Published in Contemplate