This blog…

I started this blog soon after I got a very serious diagnosis concerning my lungs. I had gone from breathing normally to having a wheeze after exertion. I had been exposed to damp spores. I was told the prognosis was not good.

Due to the drastic cut in my lung capacity, I wanted to journal my journey with now two life threatening diagnoses. I wanted to share the joy I feel in everyday things, the gratitude I have for simple things and for knowing God.

At times, I have included other things like my poetry and life’s happenings. The last 18 months have included much too much about the bizarre and distressing behaviour of my neighbours, and I wish it had not.

I have had someone identifiable try to leave smart comments, which is just nasty. I’ve had people rifle through looking for a certain poem, so I have removed that poem.

Last night someone pretended to be somebody I care about deeply. Don’t do that please. If it was not a pretence, you know who you are. Contact me appropriately. I will not be played with.

Thank you.

Not so good Saturday…

Yesterday evening, my daughter said something unkind to me. My whole being seemed to shrink and my purpose in life wobbled for a while.

The people we love can hurt us in places other people cannot reach. The love that binds us feels the knife of words deeply, forgives easily, but the wound can sink deep and wobble us.

This is normal. My identity as a mother still runs deep, although it’s no longer my primary function.We take the blows of unfiltered children more easily. My daughter was always so sweet to me when she was small. The only unfiltered comment that amused me, concerned me, made me laugh, and feel substandard all at once were her yearly questions about whether she would get as many freckles as I.

In her teens, I managed to not show how her angry outbursts affected me. I still don’t let on how much she can hurt me. It serves no useful purpose.

I am struggling with the campaign, as we still have only 2 000 signatures on the latest petition to save our hospital. It increases daily, but more and more slowly. So an unkind remark has more effect.

I am ok now. Time brings perspective.

I had anchovies in garlic for lunch yesterday.High in fat and protein. I enjoyed it.