Still very low and no help in sight…

So I still feel low. I haven’t got dressed for a week. I’ve stayed in bed as at the weekend I ran out of my prescriptions and was quite ill. Oh, I did dash out to get some food.

I writing on medium and still have some success. One publisher on there has barred me. There is a note system which I had not yet learned to use. I had submitted and they sent a note which I read as my piece needing to be published very soon as it was about rape law in the US in the light of the Weinstein conviction. So I expanded even though I didn’t want to expand. Another note., more please. So I reluctantly wrote more. Then I got told I was deleting notes. I was what? I replied that I didn’t know how to do that and I was sorry. Then I sat waiting and sent a note to say I was waiting for them. Bang! I was out on my ear. No cutting slack for newbies.

There isn’t another service that does what I had in my area. I’ve been without help since that woman shouted at me in my home. I’m struggling. In every sense I am struggling.

Please pray for me.


When emotions don’t help…

I have spent today napping and recovering from yesterday. I got so cold, panic was starting to rise, and I had pushed my trolley. Two unnamed men also had pushed my trolley.

I slept like a log last night, and had some vivid dreams.

I’ve tried to thank as many people as possible. The young man, Cameron, I’ve been able to text. I’ve sent a thank you card to Ian, who was my host and he drove me home. Tara, the van driver, I have no way of reaching.

I have to confess, after being debussed en route to Salisbury, I was so glad to be driven home. He happened to be working from home and also did look at a message request on Instagram, which he doesn’t normally do. Neither do I.

Last Friday, when I was shouted at in my home, it was by a private enterprise who were providing a service. That was stopped without notice and I’ve had to go without for eight days now. Other’s who provide this service do not deliver it in my neighbourhood.

It is affecting my wellbeing. No one should be able to cancel without giving notice.

Here is the poem I read on Wednesday.

Fall in Springtime

Falling through memories of my life as they pass my eyes
Screaming out my soul and loud my heart cries
Words that forecast my demise cannot not be taken back
Tell me friend, does Fall in Springtime frighten you?

The sun has come at last to play with shadows and light
That give texture to our days, no longer long the night
Darkness is beng chased away, see the darling buds of May
Tell me friend, does Fall in Springtime frighten you?

Look now around regard the blooms that herald life, not decay
Birds are nesting ready for life in the eggs they lay
Not no renewed life ahead for me this year
Tell me friend, does Fall in Springtime frighten you?

Embracing life won’t cease though strength is dimmed
Tending garden will be still my love, colours riot untrimmed
My soul weeps to know I might not see fruit born
Tell me friend, does Fall in Springtime frighten you?

Flowers that jostle for attention, blooms both bright and subtle
Will outlive my journey on this earth, travels I would glad redouble
Trees will grow and bear their fruit which may I live to taste
Tell me friend, does Fall in Springtime frighten you?

I will continue to shine as the sun, glow like the moon and stars
My smile will still embrace the world it will never stray afar
From my lips, though sadness may occasion my eyes to tears
Tell me friend, does Fall in Spintime frighten you?

Love will be my gift to those who walk my way wherever it leads
My heart will still hold close those I treasure and need
Still yearn for love’s secrets shared, the bond unsaid
Tell me friend, does Fall in Springtime frighten you

Chrissie Morris Brady


Do you ever make complaints?

Have you ever made a complaint? Did you feel satisfied afterwards? Who benefitted?

I have been known to make a complaint. I tend to choose them carefully, as they can take a lot of time. I also don’t want to pick on someone who’s just having a bad day. I generally chat to people who are serving me, so I tend to be able to know if they are faking cheerfulness. I have never complained about anyone who was faking a smile. They may be recently bereaved, or just divorced, they might have just lost their home. Even if they had given me awful service, I would not make a complaint. I would give them my smile.

When I have considered making a complaint, I consider who will benefit. Not just me, it has to be for others too. I will not complain just for me unless I have been caused injury or financial loss. I may make a comment if someone is rude, or late etc, depending on the situation. I will complain if I am treated differently to others.

Having worked in the Citizen’s Advice Bureau (there is no equivalent in the U.S.) I’ve seen all kinds of complaints. Some were very worthy and others weren’t legal, and the majority fell somewhere in between. I did a lot of work for solicitors during this time. For civil actions they are incredibly expensive, but those who 0ffered hours with the C.A.B. often asked me to do the majority of the work. (Only 1 in 11 interviewees get to work for the CAB, and there is six months training.)

I complained about the place my mother put my Dad. It was appalling, rude, self serving, no training, and dangerous. As soon as my mother died, I moved him and he blossomed.

Last year, when my sister was dying of sepsis, some of the staff did things that I found incredible. I don’t wish to go into detail for my sister’s sake. I made two complaints because I felt no one should be treated like that, ever. Under any circumstances.

Then early this year, my former neighbour decided to dream up a complaint about me. So I made a very real complaint about her. Her complaint was seen as being non existent, but mine was very real and involved the police. It still isn’t over. My former neighbour told a parcel of lies to her letting agency, and thus came the wind chimes.

Don’t tell lies about people. It is cruel. Unfair. Malicious. Evil.

Make a complaint if you need to, but please bear in mind this blog post.