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Sleeping a lot and the panic buying…

Thankfully, I slept well last night so the appliance on my finger didn’t bother me.

Today I have slept a lot. I woke feeling refreshed but soon realised I was exhausted. So I have slept a lot and rested.

Friends of mine are expecting a baby and she is in very early labour. I had hoped to see them, but she is exhausted and so am I.

I am not feeling so vulnerable now. I guess the physical exhaustion and the verbal stimuli I went through stripped back some of my resilience.

Life is hard sometimes, and we must accept it. We just need to sustain ourselves during the difficult times. It’s part of being alive.

No one ever said life would be easy.

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Falling

Falling

Between liking and in love

there is

          falling

falling for you,

anticipating your arrival, your touch

your smile, the way your black eyelashes

spike above your so very blue eyes

You touch my spine as we kiss hello

my body anticipates your body

delicious is the delay as we talk, we laugh,

do you realise I am falling

the gifts you bring me, you remember my words,

thoughtful, you ease into my heart

So this is falling, wondrous falling,

wanting to please you, as you easily please,

freefall, into your constellation,

moon and stars you are the night sky

what magical moments in this falling,

knowing I will be caught by the moon

Published by Poetry Bar

I had no feelings for him until close to Christmas last year, and that wasn’t deep enough to feel hurt when he left me. If he had never come back to see me, I would never have felt more for him. What a mess he has made in my life, and I was vulnerable after the death of my sister, and then my dog. He should make amends. I don’t hate him.

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Still grateful…

I found another paragraph I wrote five years ago. It was a year of stresses, as my daughter sat major exams and I had to have the ceiling in her bedroom replaced.

I am grateful for those people who I do not know personally who always return my smile. In the street, or a store, a garage etc. I am grateful for the help of strangers at times when I have needed an ambulance, a phone call made, an extra penny, directions or a bed to sleep in.
I am grateful for the wonderful people who help care for my Dad. They help give me peace of mind and hug me when I have tears.
I am grateful for my GP. He is one in several million and has taken the time to understand the rare disease that has caused so much distress. He is always compassionate, understanding and helpful.
I am grateful for certain people who know who they are who have been there for me in times of breakdown, grief, heartbreak and anguish. They have my unconditional friendship.

Today I went out for some air and odds and ends. I happened to drop a loaf of bread. One lady stopped to tell me I had dropped it and gave me advice, another lady picked it up for me. You can guess who I felt gratitude towards.

I’m very grateful that Ebsworth did not stay. I only saw brief glimpses of the man I’d begun to fall for, but that man was kind and thoughtful and showed me a lot of kindness. I’ll always be grateful for that. I was vulnerable after my Dad died and stricken by the death of my sister, and then my beloved dog a week later. Although, conflicting, is that he was able to sexually assault me. I wish I’d never withdrawn the complaint.