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A very bad day…

Late last night Michael Ebsworth started texting me abuse. I had asked him to contact their letting agency to inform them that I was a good neighbour and that DW had slandered me. He has always said I was a good neighbour. But suddenly last night he started sending all these lies… He is incapable of independent thought. He has to live in submission and abeyance to DW, no matter how sick her thinking.

So my nervous system did it’s thing and I had muscle spasms and agitation, even though I had taken my medicines. I had to block him. I did not sleep until after 6am this morning. I awoke at 8.30. I was trembling and had a very tight chest. So I used my inhaler, a lot, a took my steroids. He knows that upsets affect me physically from when he trespassed in my home at 3 am.

Last time I took steroids in January, they made me feel on top of the world, chemically changed, energetic and hungry…just like early pregnancy. As yet , I barely feel recovered from my chest infection and lack energy. I heard some news on the radio, and felt very dark thoughts. I wanted to kill myself because this world has so little hope or plans to try to save this planet for our children. We want business as usual with every country, including China, which is like selling arms to Saudi.

None thinks about spirituality, God, our spirits and soul, our inner health. And it was so easy to get sucked into Michael Ebsworth’s lies. I do so regret that DW took such a vicious stance with me after I reacted to her very unpleasant text, which I should have been used to, except this time she spoke on his behalf, and not nastily about him.

Her vengeance is as clean as the sweet sound of the baseball hit by the bat into left field. I don’t recognise my life anymore. People she’s slandered me to are dissing me. I’m not used to it.

I had to wait in for a parcel so I took a tepid bath, had something to eat and went to see my daughter. She looked so beautiful, her smile is like diamonds to me. I bought a watch from ebay and chose one to look at in a shop tomorrow. I’m in need of some self love.

It’s good to be having lunch with a friend tomorrow…another friend got a migraine and had to cry off. I still feel close to tears at times, but I must sleep now. My mind and soul need rest.


By Chrisssie Morris Brady

I've read poetry since I was nine and have written creatively since I was fourteen (probably long before that). After writing book reviews and social comment, I decided I wanted to write poetry. I have no formal training, but I surround myself with poets and their writing. I am honing my craft.
I have two published collections which I don't feel good about, but have been published by madswirl.com and other publications. I live on the south coast of England with my daughter. I am seriously ill.

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