I cannot beg the sun to stay it is the earth that moves away The night will be as long as this day so sadness fills me as I have to greet the Fall my garden has still some blooms the shadows are long, the webs abound season of spiders, but butterflies still aflutter
I want slumber to take me until spring I don’t want the winter days, wind with chill Let sleep take me now, with dreams that are sweet unless there are days of sun to come
Part of my heart weeps September is upon me summer is dying, fruits are done Most blooms are finished a few brightly remain The shade is cool, but the warmth is there still, in the sun, but gentler Now I must start to wear more clothes cover my tanned skin and watch the nights draw in Today, though, I celebrate the sun This day, not yet Fall
This week started with a lot of social activity. Friends came here and I went places with others. For some reason, tiredness has overwhelmed me and the left side of my back. The pain there has overwhelmed me. I have been out and about but also resting a lot.
I think the change in temperature has also been a factor.
When I realised Mike had left me last year, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. There was a chicken roasting in the oven, and I had to ask a neighbour to come to take it out and take the meat off the bone. I was lying in bed. Curled up, debilitated. I was incapable of doing anything.
Such pain is like a physical blow or illness. We are rendered helpless to some degree or other. The next morning I was with the asthma nurse, and I wept throughout the appointment and for a lot longer. In the evening, I went to play for which I had bought a ticket some while earlier. I left after ten minutes, and vomited in the Ladies on the way out.
Emotional pain is very real. It can overcome us and we should not fight it. If we do, and I have, it can wreck who we are. It can alter us so that we lose self belief and confidence. All we can do is experience the pain, and let it end.