Writer and psychologist. My health, a journey with two life threatening diseases
finding joy in every day things. No location given, ever. My poetry, essays, and psychology.
The sun is bright but the wind is bitter
It’s too soon for me, this Fall
I want bare arms and legs like last year
Not a sudden freeze and frost
Oh sun, burn bright, warm my days
The cold is not my friend
Premature this year is a cruel trick,
Kiss my skin again
I got broke. Too many things piled on me, but mostly the death of my sister. So many people behaved badly, I got blocked up and so I broke. I need to grieve for Pamela.
I am not fixed, but will carry on now though not every day.
The charge for murder
Her door burst open, a gun was discharged
She lay dead in her home for no reason
except her skin was black. No justice for Brionna
just a non-murder charge for the white shooter
Of course, black people are not murdered, that’s
white privilege. They are executed.
It has to stop, we are allowing democracy to die
if we don’t use our vote and voice to speak out
Say what it is. Racism, less than me, bigotry
Protest, change has to come, it must be birthed
otherwise America will destroy itself
with this amount of polarization
Droplets of water are falling
through the warm sky, making damp,
not wet, clinging to the air
Plants are grateful but I am sad,
I do not to see the Fall
It is not just the season makes me blue,
my soul is heavy, so my heart is dread
Of coming winter, darkness, cold
I wish to sleep, and wake no more
I cannot beg the sun to stay
it is the earth that moves away
The night will be as long as this day
so sadness fills me as I have to greet the Fall
my garden has still some blooms
the shadows are long, the webs abound
season of spiders, but butterflies still aflutter
I want slumber to take me until spring
I don’t want the winter days, wind with chill
Let sleep take me now, with dreams that are sweet
unless there are days of sun to come
Part of my heart weeps
September is upon me
summer is dying, fruits are done
Most blooms are finished
a few brightly remain
The shade is cool, but the warmth is there
still, in the sun, but gentler
Now I must start to wear more clothes
cover my tanned skin
and watch the nights draw in
Today, though, I celebrate the sun
This day, not yet Fall
at Amazon.
The editor capitalised the first letter of every line. I’m very disappointed.
This week started with a lot of social activity. Friends came here and I went places with others. For some reason, tiredness has overwhelmed me and the left side of my back. The pain there has overwhelmed me. I have been out and about but also resting a lot.
I think the change in temperature has also been a factor.
When I realised Mike had left me last year, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. There was a chicken roasting in the oven, and I had to ask a neighbour to come to take it out and take the meat off the bone. I was lying in bed. Curled up, debilitated. I was incapable of doing anything.
Such pain is like a physical blow or illness. We are rendered helpless to some degree or other. The next morning I was with the asthma nurse, and I wept throughout the appointment and for a lot longer. In the evening, I went to play for which I had bought a ticket some while earlier. I left after ten minutes, and vomited in the Ladies on the way out.
Emotional pain is very real. It can overcome us and we should not fight it. If we do, and I have, it can wreck who we are. It can alter us so that we lose self belief and confidence. All we can do is experience the pain, and let it end.
The hard thing is to know when it has ended.
