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I am in such pain throughout my body…

Last week a guy offered to garden for me for nothing. He wanted to garden for anyone for nothing. That he was coming by train bothered me, so I said I would reimburse him. He declined, so I gave him a bag full of eco friendly toilet roll, which is larger than a regular roll. And he asked for my wine barrel water butt. I told him it was rotten but he wanted it, so he got it.

He had said he would come again to plant. I have quite a few plants that have been given to me by family and therefore are important to me. His friend came with a large car and took stuff to the dump. I paid her for her petrol. Later, I was told the dump charged them. I said I would repay. He did not come to plant as he said. He told me he would come today instead.

I thought of all my plants waiting in the garden. I replied to him that I was confused because he said he was working for free. For everyone. Turns out he makes $110 a day. I don’t get that per week.

So he was stewing at his end, I was uncomfortable as I knew something was wrong. Instead of cancelling with me then, he waited until yesterday. I might have been able to plant some plants by then. As it is, they are still unplanted.

I am racked with pain from watching him slander, and invent things about me on a community website. And of course, people lapped it up.

My neurological disease, by definition, reacts when I’m distressed. I can barely move. All because a guy chose to break his word.

These days, it seems people’s word means nothing. Mine does.

By Chrisssie Morris Brady

I've read poetry since I was nine and have written creatively since I was fourteen (probably long before that). After writing book reviews and social comment, I decided I wanted to write poetry. I have no formal training, but I surround myself with poets and their writing. I am honing my craft.
I have two published collections which I don't feel good about, but have been published by madswirl.com and other publications. I live on the south coast of England with my daughter. I am seriously ill.

8 replies on “I am in such pain throughout my body…”

You know, I sent him a text telling him I was grateful that he was in my life. He said it was such a wonderful thing to say. I meant it, I don’t say things I don’t mean. I’m so often misunderstood, because with writing you don’t hear the tone of voice.

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